sometimes self care is
polysporin and bandages
tending to the wounds
of your own self destruction

these private moments are the ones i appreciate the most,
midnight vanilla and flickering flames,
cross-legged on my bed with sugar on my tongue,
music playing,
keys clicking.

these private moments are the ones i appreciate the most,
stolen in between the waking hours,
my own personal party just before the dawn.

Remember there's good
Remember there's bad
Remember love is undying
Remember hate can last forever
Remember scars are rememberance
Remember I will always love you
Remember I will always hate you
Remember there's a light that never goes out
Remember the dark isn't easy to escape
Remember you are not alone
Remember I always feel alone
Remember faith gets you through tough times
Remember I wish I could believe in something real
Remember I will never desert you
Remember you are the fire
Remember you are strong
Remember you can break through the struggle
Remember you are more than you give yourself credit for
Remember you are loved...

A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

Tear down those walls
By the bricks that I laid down
Tear down those walls
With the light of her world

It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless
You broke me in
Then let me down

A deep breath in
And the world is spinning around into the atmosphere

How can these words hold so much weight?
It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless

You took my hand and promised me the world. Like childish intentions you let
Me fall and I'm swimming among the ashes..

A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

I do it

I get back up and do it again

I do it

So you don't cry

I do it

So I won't feel like a failure

I do it

Because I love you

I do it

Because I need to love myself

I get back up and do it again

I get back up and do it again

Sun rising on the horizon

I take a deep breath

All this will make sense

I smile and think of you

I smile and think of why I do this

I get back up and do it again

Because of you

The cold breeze
hits me, everytime
like never before
The darkness,
haunts me
the same way
my thoughts made me
an insomniac
The fog,
opened my eyes
nevertheless, I was blind
I have to remind myself
nature amazes me
On the shore of that same beach
I remember;
childhood traumas
misery
that time I wanted to vanish
and never be found again
But this time,
I didn’t cry
I didn’t shiver
I didn’t lose hope
I stood there
and accepted the truth
I merged my feet
with the cold water
I looked at the sky
So vivid, so blue
I knew it wasn’t always
the mediocrity of the universe
It was many things, at once
And I kept it to myself.

I've always found comfort
in your darkness.
The cold, heavy shroud
you invisibly drape around me
in times of weakness
and despair.

It feeds on the emptiness
that surrounds my heart and soul
with more and more emptiness.

Nobody can understand
the comfort I get
from this seemingly
unending sorrow.

But alas -
it is only temporary comfort.
Once I let go
of these dark shrouds,
I will finally see
the promise of a
better tomorrow;
but most importantly -
a better me.

Bound

Tie the knot
Tie the noose
Wrap your hands around my throat
So I know we are through.

Lay my head on the bed
Through my eyes, all I see is read.

In love and hate
In truth and lies

I hate that I needed you.
I hate that I wanted you.

Grind the words into my head.
I'll make sure to count every last thread.
I feel the void to numb the pain

But in the end, what's to gain?
In your hate
I found new love..
In the truth

I found true forgiveness.
Here we lie
Bound.
Knife to throat
In a coffin built for you.