i scraped my knees in the
realms of time
i don't know where to hide
under the willow tree
to find and harvest
the new moon
a cracked ceiling blinks
with long lashes
my long lost friend is
still ice cold
it is not yet spring

greet my reflection if
i go too long
without smiling

a transparent person
it looks a lot like
me

She has her wings open
But it looks broken
She wanna fly so high
Up in the sky

Is something stopping her?
Is something bothering her?
Why can't she?
Why won't she?

Look into her heart
And you'll know what is her desire
True love she seeks
She sees it, but never sees.

Shall I make my grand return?
Or are you still cautious,
Wary of spectacular entry,
Garnished grandeur,
Needless in all its brilliance?

I feel a presence,
It's hunting, seeking.
It has found you,
And I shall remove it from existence

Eliminate with loyalty,
With heart, with unseen protection...
Ah, loyalty.
A word I do so enjoy, one that I honour

Eripere de tenebris, maneant in tenebras.

My new motto

Silhouette of freedom
cast upon mind canvas
a drop of life in desert script
imprints of foot patterns
flow in circle shapes
through life's vacant scape
seeking something more
past the sandy dunes
mirages of love and light
dissipate with further draught

where is the life to be found?

We all want attention
Right or wrong
We all want attention
****** for attention
Smile for attention
Gifts for attention
Anything
For attention

there are those
who read this stumbling
bumbling
work who are truly
beautiful
compassionate
people

thanks beforehand
for understanding me
without judgement


IN SEARCH OF THE LOST CHORD

i've been searching
all my life
for the lost note

there is a chord in the
cacophonistic chaos
which is my
existence
i simply miss

my otherwise
nimble hands simply
can't bring out
the magic
the music
the majestic
harmonies which
i hear in my mind
but are not translated
to my fingers

i believe it
is due to my assertion
that i was unloved as a child

i was not a planned
pregnancy
my mother fell
on her stomach and
i was a preemie

I was not touched
as an infant due to this
i was in an incubator

i was also
severely neglected as
an older child
due to my mother's
inability to cope
with two very small children
(I was born nearly one year after my sister)

I have also been
TARGETED
for twenty years by
by the
"CHURCH" of SCIENETICS
(name has been changed)

so if I am
slightly dark and
seemingly insane in
certain respects this is why

ONLY GOD CAN HELP ME

I've already learned
not to play my music
drunk or ******

but i am still
in search of the lost chord


♡ love ♡
Catherine