Spring has gone
Summer has come
My heart is still in winter
The freezing wind made me chill,
and froze the memory
so i can search for

Time stopped in this winter
Everyone repeated same scene every day
Everything become static
like pictures in google image
so  i can search for

My steps are slower
but my heart is kept searching
starting from this freezing winter
will go on and on.

Is there a mind to reach
a wave to phase with
a synergy to expand from
Is there a mind reaching out
to my frequency
Attuning with me
Feel the need to express
superfluously
be understood,
felt fluidly
to mark time indelibly
with words lived, loved
as the days pass, the wind blows
and I continue to search
for a mind to let inside
to read mine
to phase with, expand from…

i went looking for you tonite
           in some daring fit of vision
i sought after you in my own flesh
i stared through the screen for you
i near blinded myself in a streetlight

i took on a fierce drinking session
                                      - a pounding of the bellows -
                                   i fought for you in the fire fight
and in a blight of fists
        i fought amongst barbarian company...

trench

                          ...though i thought i'd dredged my fill
                   i was shy by many-many shards
            and   one
                    big 
                  aching 
                 glory
                           and still... no you

i stumble

a drenching
i got dazed and a bit ****** up
with sick up in my gory hands
my mates look foreign at me
and i can't  get them words

my friends will not be moulded to assist
treacherous
they are leaving me behind

you are demonstration, demon and a cost
you wear a fancy shiny sleeve
     flirty
i love you
leisured up
                 you lure
                drunken ravage
fierce hole
        take some finance
i earned it *****
CONTAMINANT !

.......this is not you
    you're not here
(i am adamant)

on a mission
i pummel on the veils
in a fusion i rose the dead for a consult
but they fumbled 'bout awkward
much confusion
they picked at their seems
avoided eye contact
mumbled
probably wanted brains
or replacement parts :
a useless summoning

looking for you
i am well travelled
time and space and different versions of stuff
it's been spectacular
i've seen the bulk and can make a bigger picture
this odd fella laughed and gave me some kind of herb
i'm massive
i'm quite mad
in my lunacy I'll hunt you down
moon n' sea
gather you
a study
ungut beauty
splay ; enforce you a spread of wings
  pin
    display
      and examine
I'll be utter with your subject
be thorough with your data
because I'll never be forgiven
thieving away
the god from beauty....
and...
...and...

and i'm sure your just round the corner
a collision in the scriptures
and we'll merge

I'll make the night
      livid mural
stars and crashes
         flee out into the night
jabber
now it is milk
and i am tourist
in my own hand
thought fails fluid
spill
detested
demolition
upheaval

In a crowd of a thousand
You are the one
My eyes find first.

When the lights are dimmed
To me, you shine
No differently from a star

In the buzzing of a crowd
Your voice rings
And I turn to find you

And even when you're distracted
You make me stop and notice

But to you,
I'm just another face
Another dimmed out soul
Another voice
That adds to the buzzing

But I cant help but hope
That one day
When I'm not noticing
You'll look around
And search for me.

I came upon the page and thought to write of who I am and who I was.
I thought it best to explain the things that people saw when they looked my way.
How I came to be what I see in my own reflection.
I gave benefit of doubt that they would or could then have some understanding. Perhaps naivety was my flaw?
The more I wrote the fewer looked.
Is it simply me or the openness that makes it so?
Is it what they see or the not wanting to really know?
Could it be that honesty is a frightening thing?
Am I better off to keep secrets and carry a facade?
Would then perhaps more be interested in who I am?
Would they then have the time to stop a while?
Or is it simply having seen they see no value?
And yet it is that I still need to fill the page...
and to hope someone will see me and stop a while.