Last night I broke my heart
As I realized my road is meandering
So I decided to burn the highway
Alone
I reckon I once set out at dawn, when the sun was still
no where around
But you came with the daylight, or did the sun come chasing me, with you?
We rode through a pleasant morning
And through a sunny noon
Even through wild jungles
As the raindrops tainted our skin
Oh and when the clouds climaxed
How our thirsty lips sinned
You held me warm in your embrace
Through the coldest of nights
And as dawn knocked on our door again
We set out to burn the road, yet again
But it's been a while, I've been riding
I don't see you by my side
Or in my way, not even in the rear view
Maybe you'll meet me at the crossroads
I think, I hope...as I cross many roads
With your thoughts crossing my mind
Our paths...not yet, no
Oh but I'm closer to a turn now
It's a hairpin and I'm perhaps at 100kmph
If I see you there, will I be able to stop?
Will I skid or run you over, I know not...
Maybe I should just...stop!

Breathe,

I have so many reasons to be alive.

Breathe,

But I get tired.

Breathe,

I don't think I scare myself anymore.

Breathe,
Just,
Breathe


quiet car rides,
On starry nights.
Warm seats,
Cool air,
Mildly,
Unwashed
Hair.

It's late,
And,
I'm tired.

But.
Im.
Still.
Alive.
And.
In.
My.
Own.
Time.
I,
Might even learn,
To enjoy it.

You told me you'll be real,
You told me you're here to heal,

You told me you'll never lie,
You told me the truth is you're mine,
Its a lie.

You told me you'll always be by my side,
You told me not to fear anything, you told me you're with me in this ride,
You lied.

Life is so hard sometimes.

It pulls, taking the table cloth
along with it.
It strengthens, taking the tide
along with it.
It chides
talking the moon
out of its misery
wishing it were daybreak
but when day arrives,
the moon wishes it were night.
Round and round we go
on this roller coaster called life.
Hanging on is so difficult
with responsibilities tugging
at the mainframe
about to crumble apart like
break pads crumbling under
the weight of it all.
A pressurized catapult or
catalog explaining the width
it takes to squeeze through
the trash chute without
crushing anything of importance.
Holding our breath
as the bumps become clear
afraid of the coaster
slipping off the tracks
and plummeting into
the frigid unknown.
Luck is only heresy
in this world of uncertainty.
But cars can be fixed,
jobs can be taken,
and bodies can be satisfied
in ways unheard of in reality.

Life is so hard sometimes.

But looking at it with new eyes,
with a combative, stubborn grip
on the cold steel handle,
a roller coaster can be both exhausting and exhilarating

if you know what to look for.

I...I love you
I love you so much, I just can't  gather the words in my head to put together to explain.
Explain how this came about.
What? when? why? how?
How do you go from falling in love ,to being in love, to not being in love at all?
Talking just about every day,  to not talking at all.
Seeing them, to not seeing them at all.
Why do we love love, when love doesn't love us back?  
It's Complicated
It's tragic
Its a mess
I miss you!
I miss you, but only the thought of you.
I want you, but only the thought of you.
The thought of you is attractive,  but I can no longer ride the roller coaster of emotions anymore.
It's draining!
The thrill of traveling to the highest peak of the ride, arriving to cloud 9.
The Joy
The love
The laughter
Until everything comes to a stop, all hell breaks loose.
Speeding down to the gates of hell.
Stress
Heartache
Pain
Just when you think you're done, the ride still continues.
I'm tired... I'm done!!!
If I knew that I would be treated this way, I would've never chose this ride.
It's clear that you don't care!
So why should I?
I... I hate you
I hate you so much,  I CAN gather ALL the words in my head to explain.
To explain how this hate came about.

I'm just a spoke on the wheel.

And the journey I've been on,
Has been tiresome and painful.

But I keep turning,
Hoping that I will soon reach my beautiful destination.

a golden mare
strength and power
inspiration and imagination
flowing in rhythm or rhyme
thoughts in words I share
passion moving forward in time
roads of emotions; feelings I stride
paths of decisions; thoughts I ride
experiencing; distance and abilities
within my mind galloping the margins
of my quenching desire written
running wild and free
a golden horse
the perfect palomino of poetry