You're making me suffocate.
I look at you and it feels like you're taking all the air from my lungs.
I get nervous thinking about you.
I release a sigh of relief once you are gone.
I feel free from you.
You always come back or wait for me to come back to you.
We wait for each other to be able to breathe around each other.
We never are.

Something to be learned
From my gut
But focus too hard and that tension will cause my gut to shut the **** up.
And sometimes I want it
But until I listen I know I stay haunted
By a gut that churns and yearns to upchuck the truth.
Just learn the truth!
It burns in you!
But still I tense and squeeze and search for keys
Search for meaning, search and plead
We make believe while our guts clench and scream
You are the truth!
Its only you!
And its only me
Because we cause what we see
Just like the fish cause the sea
And the sea caused the fish
In an age old wish for self
You see identity just builds itself
It has no real base in some impermeable self
Its the illusion of self
That swells from relation
Because yours is not mine and
Mine is not yours
But apart from all this: nothing is sure!
We’re a network of cells distinguished by traits
But we form one big gut because we’re one in the same.

Going to the toilet was a nightmare,
I would hold my *** and poo for hours,
For fear of sitting on the low toilet seat,
It was pain and toil getting up.
Now, a raised toilet over  two bricks,
And a grab bar,
Has made my life Shangrila,
No more fear,
No more anxiety,
Just slip on the seat and RELAX,
And do what you have to do.

close your eyes
and listen
to your favorite song.

close your eyes
and listen
to the sound of your mom
preparing your breakfast.

close your eyes
and listen
as the gentle wind comes inside your room
and gently blows on your face.

close your eyes
and just listen
to everything
but your problems;
to all the little things
that makes you smile
and not worry
about the problems in your life.

close your eyes
and breathe.

Loosen your collar,
Untie your tie.
Remove the worrying furrow,
From between your eyes.

Roll up your sleeves,
Kick off your shoes,
A pair of flip flops -
Those old ones'll do.

No thought, no man..
No treasure, no dime,
That brings you down,
Is worth any time.

There, that's better.
Now that you've found you,
Sing your heart out,
And dance away the blues

Stress, Pain - Mind insane
Guardian Angel spreads her wings
Soul feels Ocean Blue

©Heike Borgard 06/2018

This not so dark cave
I go to train
To practice and learn
To obey and help
To practice my skills
that I have harnessed
From kicks to punches
I release my energy
Sometimes
I come angry
other days I came happy
When I leave
I am always filled with peace
so relaxed as I should be