what we become in
    rejection to the templates
        we succumb to
a positive negation of what
we once believed to be our
being
cast aside even the idea
of a revelatory rebirth
silence and space do not
    describe it
emptiness, void - they too fail
the more i write about it,
the less i say about it

Darkness and light have become entangled in my mind.

Moments captured are quietly lost, nothing more than shadows that flirted with existence.
They were hope, then became a memory.....soon they will be gone.

My heart is to blame.

Under your brightness, it could not see that the shadows were being cast from one side.

It spoke out of turn.

people mold their masks out of fear,
fear of rejection in certain groups of friends

be yourself or be someone else

You told me I wasn't you cup of tea
So I tried adding some sugar and cream
But by the time I was to your liking

I had gotten cold

Life built this person; She is made out of "must do's" and "have to's. She is made out of wide smiles, encouragement, and aiming for perfection. She is made out of "I can", "I did" and "of course I will".
She is made out of eyeshadow, hair color and piercings that make her feel better, but she is always feeling not quite enough. So she tucks in one more hair, straightens her clothes, dusts her shoulders off and feels better. Neater. She is made out of NORMAL. Trying to fit in, looking put together enough that nobody will notice. She straightens her shirt again.
She doesn't have time to feel weak. She doesn't have the strength to find courage. So she keeps going, in a straight line of "what I have to do" and "it is what it is". She cries. She cries so much that she carries around her makeup, because it would look bad if her eyes were red and her mascara ran. She still smiles though. She will ask you about your day, eager to hear positivity, stories, anything, to make her forget time.
She had dreams and goals, and craves to be better. So she can belong. Somewhere. Anywhere. Her emotions run wild  and her mind over thinks, making it impossible for her to settle down. She is tired of crying even when her hurt isnt the hurt she is feeling.
She decides everything based off a pros and cons list that she will dissect 15 times. Finally she will say, "honestly I have no preference, I'm sorry I cant help make the decisions". She became scared to choose. Scared to speak, because nobody will probably care to listen anyway. She became scared to learn, for failure is almost always the ending result in her mind. Things just dont go in her favor. She accepts this.
She became detached, and mute. She became a stranger sleeping in my clothes. Wrapped in my blanket. Feeling my feelings, projecting my thoughts. She can't figure out how to stand, to step forward, move past her emotions. She doesn't know how to be put together. So she shatters, and disappears shard by shard. She hides the chaos behind her eyes. She decided nobody would accept her if she couldn't even accept herself.
She stopped trying to give pieces of herself away.

The poor boy
Had his heart
Taken away from him
His mother
Didn't approve
His lover
Wasn't his
She taunted him
His mother
Would beat him
"Brat!"
She called him
His not-his lover
Would cheat him
Of happiness
"****!"
She called him
Til he fell onto his knees
And wept
And said
"I can't take this anymore"

I try to tiptoe across the pain
but you caught my tears hidden by the rain
you try to tell me everything will be okay
But all I hear is that I will always love you

And that you will never feel the same