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statictitanic Feb 2015
She was always strange and confused
in a state of ambivalence
where is God and where is my mind?
why can't I see what's in front of me? Why am I following my own destiny, yet also following the streets people paved for me?
She didn't want to wait anymore for reckless answers that didn't make any sense to her at all.
So
She walked in front of a train to see the end of her tunnel
Rockie Feb 2015
I thought I knew
But you didn't, did you?
I guess not
No, of course
My conscience told me I didn't
I did, didn't I?
It puts me down
I do?
And lifts me up
Do I?
Yet, I can't stop it
Yes you can
I am you,
And you are me,
Together as one

I suppose we are
But it goes on
And on
And on
Forever Yours Feb 2015
How far into the church pew did you dig trying to find the person everyone believes you to be
How many bibles did you burn just trying to ingest something purer than your own soul
How many gallons of holy water did you pour over yourself and into your lungs trying to drown out the memory of her hands
Still to this day when his hands are around your throat you try to convince yourself it's God finally finishing what he started
When you were told God loves all his children they felt the need to add "even you..." at the end and maybe that's why you didn't believe it
NeroameeAlucard Feb 2015
Well I write poetry and post
It
I capture feelings in flows and yes I know this
But who am I?
Is NeroameeAlucard another persona I created?
Or me... The real me trying to escape it's mental containment?
I'm having a crises involving my self forged identities
it's alien to me to try to just be myself
when hiding behind my masks forged on feelings
But having to face the world without a mask?
that would be like Majora not having wrath
Rhianecdote Feb 2015
If word is bond

Then all we share

is *silence
Does anyone else question the relationships they have/had with people?
NeroameeAlucard Jan 2015
Sometimes I sit back
on my bed with an RHCP track
playing blocking out the world
then the voices kick in
"Why aren't you looking for someone?"
"Do you want to be alone forever or do you think that's a wise endeavor?"
I respond back that my confidence is gone out behind the shack stabbed in the back with a macabre machete the size of a horses ***.
that every time I get comfortable with someone now I flinch, waiting for my heart to get stomped out or chipped away
that's why I said for the time being alone I'll stay.

My head and my heart seem out of sync I think it's clear that I'm trying to focus on myself and trying to accumulate both mental and financial wealth and improving my physical health but my heart sees none of this it just wants to be cuddled and mollified and it's mortifying to me to fight this internal war constantly because I want to be free from my feelings and my past because every time I say they're gone they keep roaring back
Jessica Jan 2015
Uncertainty
About you
About me

I need more
Praise
Respect
Love

Uncertainty
Do you love me?
Do you still want me?

Do I?

Its impossible to read the signs that you don’t send
1 hour later, two hours later

I can’t express to myself how much you care.

Do you even?
I’m uncertain
Louisa Coller Jan 2015
Sacred words are left out in stone,
the carved wordings will remain for long.
I don’t see why curiosity, always catches me at the sleeve.
It’s like I am a pet of the devil, wanting to find the light within.
I walk around like the cat, watching every single spark.
I embrace the lovely patterns, wondering when my light will shine.
I saw the gorgeous skies, shade away into purple cloths.
I remember seeing your light, for the very first time.
It shone brighter than anyone’s, I don’t even understand why.
You aren't the greatest, you aren't the best,but neither am I.

I saw the words being placed, down onto the cards to heaven.
I looked at the lanterns, fly away into the sky.
Dim lights of yellow and orange too, remembering how much I loved you.
Death is a sweet embrace, yet why do I yearn for something to waste?
It shone brighter than anyone’s, I don’t even understand why.
I don’t see the point, in disposing love or life.
She walks down the dark road, with traffic lights flashing at her,
she remembers every single day, that she needs to keep on living.
Through every shade, of red, yellow and green she needs, to remember you.
Walking down a path of remembrance, leads into a list of names.
When the first child is bared, she is labelled with your name.
Rhianecdote Jan 2015
Seems like everyone's
looking for replacements,
the lost and left
huddled together
seeking their placement,
anAtomys standing static
but the field is magnetic,
bonds are bound for
the making and we
take it with ease
not questioning if
we're faking it,
and in fact instead
of friends we're
lining up
potential enemies.
Is it all just
overfamiliarity?
Is the attraction just distraction?
Force filled friendship
or true connection?
Full of heart
or cardiac arrested development
trying to drown
out the loneliness and rejection?

And if so how long will it last?
How strong is the net cast?
Is it holding us together
Or are we just caught up?
Deferring inevitable dejection,
only a matter of time
before detection and
we're exposed for
the fraudulents we are?

Or have soul mates been found?
Lovers been crowned ,
best friends and brothers
who will always be round?
Better things coming together
replacing what's broken?
Truth lying in the unspoken.
Filling vacant places
like liquid frozen.
All In good Time?
But can you Trust in time
when it ultimately brings
atrophy and erosion?
Or Will these laws
be undone by devotion?
Logic replaced with emotion?

Possibly...

But enough philosophy
my replacement bus is here.
Public transport ponderings
I show a strange fascination
In those I leave behind
And those who leave me wondering
What answers I will find

Will you seek me?
Did you?
Do you share my thoughts?
Do I follow pointlessly?

It's probably right the way that we drifted apart
Though I don't care for dancing around each other like a dying art
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