Had a dream about a one-legged spider last night. Was it me? Wallowing in my own pity. I feel like a fool, helpless. My only protection is the night, and I've apparently gotten caught in my own web. If you wanted me in my most vulnerable state, here I stand.
Humans are truly pitiful things We are born weak We are born with nothing Yet we desire everything Especially those things that we can not have But we do not have a care for one another The happiness of those that surround us is never given a second thought Yet there are some who break the mold Who utterly shatter any precepts of what a human being is And should be And ever could become There are those of us that say **** the rules There are those of that have forever heard the phrase "life isn't fair" and are sick and ******* tired of it, those of us who are working to make that statement a relic of history Those of use who place others happiness on the forefront of our mind before even our own Those of us who forget ourselves in order to keep another from losing them self. There are those of us that say ***** the rules and live by our own motto Those of us who kick hatreds *** in an attempt to give every single person in the world the one thing that everyone deserves The one thing that everyone is entitled to: Happiness.
Literally jumped out of the shower this morning, still full of soap just to write down this thought. Looking at it now, I'd say it was well worth it. This poem is kind of about me and the way I live a large part of my life.
I think of what to write, and I can't quite figure it out. The emotions inside my head go crazy with ideas. I see jumbled up words. Angry, hopeless, pitiful words. But I can't quite piece them together. Story of my life. I'm not a poet. Just a person who has so many things to say and no one to hear me say them. But do I really need to be heard? I never have been. Story of my life. I can't keep typing, I mean, I could. But what's the point. I want to backspace everything. Throw it all away. Because it doesn't matter. I don't matter. Story of my life.
The handshake comes much quicker Than it used to in the days When he held his liquor better Those times are far away "Let me shake you by the hand" he'd bellow in the bar But, now his grip is weaker Than it once had been, by far He used to drink 'till closing Now, two beers and he is done He no longer knows his limit He no longer drinks for fun The drinks control his shaking Keep him centered, full of hate Once he shakes you by the hand It means things aren't so great He squeezes hard to make you hurt Trying to show what he once was But it only shows his smallness It accentuates his flaws Mr "Let me shake you by the hand" Is in every bar we know He's quiet when he gets there But he's loud when time to go He no longer rules the table He's just an old drunk in the back He used to be the favorite He no longer has that knack He'll always be a little man He'll never look you in the eye Mr. "Let me shake you by the hand" Will be the same until he dies In his mind he's full of power But his body shows what's real A strong wind would break this man in half I can't guess how his wife feels Two beers can change his being From someone pleasant to an *** "Mr. Let me shake you by the hand" gets drunk and turns quite crass If you ever go out drinking And your evening is planned Leave...and in a hurry If you hear ...."shake your hand."
Please, Please, For the love of God and my self esteem, Do not Under any circumstances Compare me to another girl.
You see when you do this My heart sinks. My chest gets tight. My through clenched. My eyes sting. My gut feels like it was struck by a first. And my self confidence Is nonexistent.
It doesn't matter who you are Who she is Or what my relationship to either of you is. Just don't do it. Being told that someone is better than me in any way And that I am not good enough to be equals with them Leaves me broken And more depressed Then you'd expect.
She May be a better singer; She May be prettier; She May have enough to be perfect to someone.
Me? I feel worthless 24/7. And knowing that someone Thinks less of me when compared to someone else, Imagine How you would feel Knowing That you are not ever going to see yourself excel in that area Ever Again.
So please, Please, For the love of God and my self esteem, Do NOT Under ANY circumstances Compare me to another girl.