at one point
ranks of flowers
lined the garden;
none of which
i could name
nor did i care
to learn

but at full bloom
staring into that kaleidoscope
those colours and the shapes;
there was catharsis

looking now
the garden is
a palette smeared
a spectrum of brown;
         brownish yellow
   greeny brown
      brown on
        slightly darker brown

the dog maintains eye contact
while defecating
on the flower beds;
and this is also
strangely cathartic

I've been waiting on top
Of Calvary Hill
Watching the whole world go by
While I'm perfectly still
And as the winds of change blow over
My soul begins to break away
But I'm holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I'm waiting
Waiting
I'm waiting
Waiting on top

I'm waiting in the darkness
Of a bottomless pit
Crying out loud to my brothers
As they walk away
And as the silver falls into their hands
My heart begins to break
But I'm holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I'm waiting
Waiting
I'm waiting
Waiting in the darkness

I'm waiting in the desert
Of a foreign land
Driven from my home
By the kingdom of man
And I can still hear their screams
I have to leave them behind me
But I'm holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I'm waiting
Waiting
I'm waiting
Waiting in the desert

I'm waiting in the valley
In the shadow of a man
Curses leave his lips
As a stone leaves my hand
I bet my life on a promise
And I'm holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I'm waiting
Waiting
I'm waiting
Waiting in the valley

I'm waiting in the furnace
The flames roaring high
Condemned to be burned
For the King I can't deny
Though the world believes I'm done
My battle has already been won
I'm not alone
And we're holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I'm waiting
Waiting
I'm waiting
Waiting in the fire

I've been waiting on top
Of Calvary Hill
Watching the whole world go by
While I'm perfectly still
And as the winds of change blow over
My soul begins to break away
But I'm holding for the moment
My suffering will end

I said this would not happen again
I told myself I would not let it
I said I was deserving
I said nothing less of a princess

But still

I allow him to push me around
I allow him to make me feel small
I allow him to say the things he wants because

They’re just words
They’re just jokes
They’re meant to be funny
They’re not met to be taken seriously

But I guess

The fat on my stomach told me he is not wrong
The cellulite in my thighs nodded with his words  
The hair on my face agreed with every word he spoke
The slab of fat on my arm swung in agreeance

I found myself deciding my self-worth on

How many times he said I was beautiful
How many times he said he loved me
How many times he let go of my hand when people approached him
How many times he cared to open any door for me

I said I had changed
I said I was better
I said I love me

But

You broke me  
You left behind a person I don't recognize
You left me

Back to square one

Until the day that I die

Until the day that I die, I will continue to write stories and poetries in my head.
Even if its my last day in bed.
Until the day that I die, I will pursue my dreams Even if it some say they're too extreme.
Until the day that I die, I will write songs that I could never finish until my voice will soon diminish.
Until the day that I die, I will reach High
And when it's time to say goodbye
I'll say "Oh well atleast I tried"

The sunflower reaches up:

Tall and proud

Vainly striving to reach the sky:

A Sisyphean task.

For the wind batters;

Bruises as it nears.

Faces forced to bow.

Stems snapped like broken backs.

Nevertheless, they still believe.

Winter comes: a forced retreat.

Petals wither and fall.

Reduced, reused, recycled.

No longer of interest

To bees, birds and we

Who only see the first

Flush of beauty.

Returned unto the soil.

Sometimes you might feel blue,
Sometimes you might want to give up,
You might not have a clue for what to do,
Due to the tough situation as such.

But one thing you need to remember
Is to keep your head up high
Even if you can't keep yourself together,
get up again and don’t forget to try.

Optimism is hope,
Hope is inner strength,
Inner strength leads to perseverance,
With which you can reach extreme lengths.

Don’t forget that you might fall down,
In the perilous process of a beautiful success,
But stand back up and don’t look around,
As looking back will only cause distress.

You are a human,
Yes you make mistakes,
But these are the blunders that help you learn,
By making you realize that what it takes.

Challenges are faced by all,
As the path to success doesn’t come easy,
Yet you have the potential to overcome them,
Because you have the capability.

The path might be rough,
You'll think you wont make it through,
As the situation is tough,
But so are you.

So just live life to the fullest,
have the time of your life,
Enjoy every moment,
as no matter what,
At the end You will thrive.
                                                                           ~Parin Bindle XI-i

I have a fire in my soul, raging like the lightning bright
The years of hiding took their toll but never did they dim the light
I have a river rushing through my veins like a roaring wind
And at the end of doubt I do find my strength to begin
Though the days ahead are dark and uncertainty clouds my way
I have hope singing like a lark and I can fight another day
I have many fears and many tears not unlike my early years
But through all those I persevered so I could end up right here
I have a fire in my soul, raging like the lightning bright
Though I quake with fear untold I will make it through this night