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Brandi R Lowry Feb 2020
Today I thought about suicide
And what my life means

Am I depressed?
Or is this just me?

I fantasized
About how much better
Everyone's lives
Would be

Without me here
To disrupt the flow

Without my unpredictable mood swings
And negative energy.

If I'm not here
They won't witness my decline
Or subconsciously follow suit.

But they wouldn't miss much

I'm always tired
Or in a bad mood.

Their good memories
Will outweigh the bad
If I just leave quietly.


Would the pain of losing me
Pale in comparison
To the pain of watching me
Fail so miserably?

Would death relieve my pain?
Or would I have to relive it

Maybe I am depressed.

Or maybe I just need a friend.
Brandi R Lowry Jul 2019
I'll be your loudest cheerleader
Even when the stands are empty
Be it with or without merit
I love you unconditionally

My life, I would gladly lay to rest
If doing so would preserve your own
To pull you from the depths of Hell
Without regret, I would sell my soul

Yet as my armour begins to rust
Exposing my open wounds
I realize I'm no longer strong enough
To carry us both through

Have courage to climb higher each day
Than you did the day before
Remember how to use your wings
When you're finally ready to soar

Your feet will never leave the ground
If you haven't the faith to leap
But you can bounce from star to star
If you're not afraid to dream

Be not defeated by trials you'll face
Silence the rhetoric of loathing and grief
Realize that through the ugliest of pain
We become our greatest masterpiece

I pray you find your way back home
With the map I made for you
My only wish for you, sweet child
Is that you find joy in all you do
A poem for my children
Brandi R Lowry Aug 2018
I rest in the belly of rage
Overwhelmed and a bit dismayed

Unable to speak
Without spewing venom
I seek shelter
From my mental asylum

This torture is but my own
Come one
Come all
Then be gone

Let me rest
Until I return again

This beast is not my friend.
These are just a few of my emotions during ***... Sorry guys...needed to vent
Brandi R Lowry May 2018
Happy belated birthday
My dearly missed friend.
I'm sure you had a heavenly party
That I regretfully didn't attend.

I couldn't think of you yesterday
It still hurts to say your name.
They say time will heal the ache
But it lingers yet the same.

I say a silent prayer for your soul
And push the thought away.
Time is only a theif.
It isn't any easier today.
Dedicated to my late best friend, Amanda Gresser
Brandi R Lowry Jan 2018
I lie awake each night
Long after you're asleep
I envy your restful slumber
Through salty eyes I weep

As the air thickens
I struggle just to breathe
Bowing my head in sorrow
I pray so desperately

Grant my mind solace
If my thoughts go astray
Allow my soul to carry on through grief courageously

Protect me from the pain
That haunts my every thought
Awaken my restless spirit
If my dreams become too dark

Make my heart resilient
If it shatters painfully
Teach me about patience
While I gather it piece by piece

Allow me the courage
To assemble it once again
As I try not to crush
The fragile pieces in my hand

If my strength grows weary
And I tremble at the knees
Hold my hand and steady me
So I stumble gracefully
Writing this poem helped me through one of the darkest hours of my life. Out of pain, we can create much beauty. We just need to listen to the soul. I hope it helps you see the beauty through your pain.
Brandi R Lowry Aug 2017
As echoes and whispers
Begin to change
And sound and silence
Become the same
I look back
From where I came
And find solice
In everything
Brandi R Lowry Sep 2016
If you were the moon
I'd lie awake with you each night
And help you battle the sun
For your place in the sky.

If you were a soft breeze
I would chase the wind
Just to feel your breath
As the air caressed my skin.

If you were a dream
I would never want to awaken again.
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