Yo Momma,
She got mad for I tried being perfect for you.
The truth, the life I've always dreamed about, that's what I wanted for you.

You have my full support.
Choosing a dream to follow is your decision,
Telling you if its wrong or right!
Now that's my mission.

I wouldn't want you to be what I wanted to be.
But choose something to keep you busy like a Bee,
Just follow the heart and leave everything to Thee.
'cause God never left, nor forsaken me.

You say you don't know what to do, what to say.
Your heart is too heavy, so it starts to pray.

He refuses to listen.
Your heart aches & your eyes glisten.
This man you call father,
Now can't be bothered.

You wish to speak.
But you are tired and he is weak.
You wish to be heard.
But his memory is foggy & his prospective has blurred.

You need answers to hard questions, such as: "You've hurt me & you don't know your family... Do you even care?"
But you're greeted by silence & a confused stare.
He then mumbles how "You've got it all wrong..."
He says you're ill-informed & goes on & on.

He is the father & you are the child,
Your claim is invalid & you remain unreconciled.
The long winded lecture then turns into some maintenance "project."
It always ends this way in retrospect.

You come back home.
And collapse into the couch with a groan.
Defeated, you speak quietly through your hands.
I wait patiently for you to start so I can understand.

"...I hope Your father never becomes like him--a man who strives to hold onto nothing but ego & wealth at the expense of his family. I hope that's something you never have to see."

He looks so deflated.
His heart is heavily weighted.
I suddenly notice he's got more laugh lines around his eyes, and how we have the same chin.
People often tell me we share the same grin.

His silent doubts & unanswered questions leave him falling apart.
My hero who always fixed my "ouchies" now sits with a bruised & heavy heart.
Because his dad never said "I love you" enough.
And I don't know what to say, because mine never stopped.

We set a paper ship
upon the waters
in hope it will never know a storm
we have bared of our past
In hopes that maybe to gather
they could fair better than us
as clear skies graced our thought
now storm clouds loom heavy.
It's never as we planned
but never our fault.

Those paper ships slip
from between our fingertips
before we are ready to set sail
We watch them bob
upon traitorous waters
standing upon stormy land
and know only,
when they are lost at sea
that our casting off
has failed

Under moonlit nobility gets beyond our controls and storms
we seldom grasp, the ships sink faster than the images we have lives since painted within our thoughts.
It all comes full circle in the end

Full circle begins
when weeping upon a midnight beach
waiting for the debris to float in
To sit upon the sand
and not understand
how paper boats can't float
without sails
We set them out upon stormy seas
Hoping them fine and fair weather
only to see them smashed upon the shore
with no guidance from above
just a single feather
Buried deeply in their chest
a single hope
they could fly
now they lay broken
upon a distant shore
dying under a whisper
of... *I tried

Mom is such
A special word
The loveliest
I've ever heard.

A toast to you
Above all the rest
Mom, you're
So special
You are simply
the best!

እማ

‹እማ› ልዩ ቃል ነው
በጣም ተወዳጅ
ሠምቼ ከማውቀው!

ብርጭቆአችንን እናንሳልሽ፣
ከሁሉም በላይ ከፍብለሽ፣
‹እማ› አንቺኮ ልዩ ነሽ
በቃ በትንሹ አቻም የለሽ!
(በሔለን ስቲነር ራይስ)

I stepped out of your shadow to find no sunlight.

You think you never
Cut the ******
Umbilical cord,
That i’m one hundred
And fifty pounds of
Walking baggage
That belongs to you.

I’m just your grown-up,
Beat up barbie doll,
With the limbs loose
And skin scarred:
A breathing toy.

You invalidate me
So you can have a
Perpetual platform,
A pedestal tarnished
By the scuffs of your
Dagger heels.

This is the last ******* time
I rent you space in my head
I've written about you so much
When I'm done I'm like.... Again

This dudes annoying me, get over
It, she's a *****, what can you do
I never asked for child support all
I wanted was our son to know u

But maybe it's better he doesn't
But it breaks my heart that aches
When his preschool made crafts
On ur dead beat Mother's Day

And he had to make one for nana
And asked me where u were
And now I finally get why some parents say, the dead beat ****

That isn't around had died
Cause I rather that than the other,
Which is tell our beautiful son that
The truth,narcissists can't be mothers

So *******, and this will be the
Very last ****** time
I waste a thought , or a tear drop
On your heartless ***, but I

Still hold pity for you!... Why?
Because I know what you don't
That regret can evolve when u let
Important things left, so I hope

I can hold in the joy, when the day
Comes and your blind *** sees
That our child, your flesh and blood
Has a value, your drugs can reach

A life you made, that you trade
So you can run away but one day
All the pain you left me with will
Find you ***** and it'll eat away

At whatever's left of your soul
Whatever's left of your neurotic
Selfish, ****** up, drugged up heart so black, I reverse oscars, and boycott it

So when psychosomatic Psychotic
Psychosis sets in
And you feel sorry for yourself and
All the time you wasted with him

I will tell him. To make sure he takes
What time is left with u and not
Say what I want to which is, let her
Live knowing, the cost of what's lost

Is being a deadbeat. But sought
Will be knowing if I did
That would encourage the son I love
To lose out so I sacrifice for my kid

Something u know nothing about
And probably never will
But 4 years have gone by so fast
Soon the futures the past and filled

Will be your blinded eyes
Full of consequence disguised
As poor u, self pity, ****** cries
Just like the cries our son cried

As I learn to handle a four month
Old baby boy, but hey .. I did
And you'll never know why sacrifice
And a selfless life fills the void which

We use to try and fill with ****,
Parties drugs raves all the ****
That lead us deeper into the darkness
We thought we escaped and hid

10 years of living for only us
Temptation, inebriation lust
Feeling numb cause sobriety
Brings anxiety in society full of

People who grew the **** up
Responsibility. Purpose stability
The knowledge that pretentious
Isn't being clean, so tranquility

Is real when it's felt rather than
The induced, bile filled puke
That's only half as vile as you
And if you ever see me smile *** u

Is what's meant, as I see now
Why we had to part ways it's sad
You were scared to grow up and that
Will catch up with you but a dad

Was just a scary . Trust me I was
Terrified.. Emasculated embarrassed
The years we spent that i cherished
We're all spent high so apparent

is how sobering up left transparent
Facts that say I didn't know
Who I really was, expect for the one
I was when sedated and I know

Now that there's a difference
In the way your emotions process
And now I maybe who we said we'd never be, cubical Steve at the office

9-5 and ya I get it, got it,
I'm exactly what u hate I know
But one day everything u aren't is
What you will be, but *** this poem

**** the nostalgia the reminiscing
See..... I always end up lost
Cause admittingly I can't get over it
When your eyes stare at me off

The face of our son, the ****** expressions the stubborn head its
All you that I see sitting across of me
And thank u for him, so like u left

Us, I will attempt to leave u
Abandoned in this coffin poem
And hope it doesn't follow me back
Like a horror movie villain to a home

I built without u, stop thinking bout u
It's easier to say
Than it is to do, so with a *** u
I mask the pain the scars gave

To remind me what's behind me
So on the day regrets blinding
This pain will be yours cause karmas
Tour can move slowly but finding

Who it's meant to, means it'll get u
So goodbye dead beat goodbye
I hope u drown in the tears u cry
When u see what u trade to be high

Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but that's something I'd never tell,
cause complacency is what you preached,
so silence is what I reached.

Mama, you taught me well,
to sit and fiddle, do not wail,
but my emotions are worth much more,
when they aren't hidden behind the door.

Mama, you taught me well,
wishing for naught, I let myself dwell,
and so I idolized all the wrong people,
and followed demands like sheeple.

Mama, you taught me well,
to allow myself to mask my yell,
my tears, my frigid fears, my feelings unspoken,
when my heart lay here so broken.

Mama, you taught me well,
to lock myself into my own cell,
and now I feel I need release,
my soul deserves to be at peace.

Dear Mama, you taught me well,
but this sort of life I wish to quell,
and so I say I must change,
your lessons to me, estrange.

Angry tears are falling
when you ask me why
they worsen, and now
angry words are spoken.

Stop trying to control me
since when was I banned
from showing my emotions
even in private I can't recall.

But you of all people should know
that locking me away from the world
will not strengthen our bond,
it will worsen unwanted hatred.