You've taken too long to come haunting,
wading through instances of mud, of regret,
until my wanting has all but dissolved.

You've broken my spine with curious fingertips,
an innocent ghost with fireplace eyes,
where questions went unnoticed, unsolved.

You've come knocking with empty cages,
pulling behind what you'd begged to forget,
you spoke to my spine like needles, absolved;

until my teacups are dust on the shelves
and your flowers don't wilt, but burn,
of stove and house and noose and all.

I f l e w too close to the sun
And fell too close to the stars
I cried the tears of the moon
As I felt the loneliness of asteroids.


I hugged the never touching trees
And kissed the lonely roses
And b r e a t h e d the air for the dying grass
And sat in the laps of the evergreen vines of ivy.

I ran with the wolves
To forget the malice feeling of the cougars
And s a n g the song of freedom with the hawks
As I let the rabbits comfort me.

I walked with the preoccupied humans
As I stared at the nervous buildings
And hugged the crying street light
Then let the cold air b i t e me

I sat a l o n e in my empty room
With the joyfully stained razor blade
And with the vain and well woven noose
Jumping off the chair as I choose.

My dear lover, why did they put me here?
Reckless in authority
     Pushing, pulling, straining, taming
Trying to *tame me
     Tame you, tame us, tame them!
Would someone please try to tame them?
     Save them, save me, save us, love
They did it because of a love
     What's so wrong about love?
Whipping, striking, beating, bleeding
     One hit, two hits, three hits, four
     Five knocks me to the floor
Sit up! Stand up! See your ****** mother cry!
     I'm sorry brother for lusting lies
Lies told and lies seen
     Lies for things which you define me
Kick the chair from beneath my feet
     A noose hangs loose from this old tree
As my neck strains against these strings
     Last thoughts wonder to Adam & Eve
Who ate the fruit which planted these seeds
     The poisoned fruits are *you and me

There it was,
Waiting for me.
Dangling in the middle
Of the dark basement.

It called my name.
It whispered to me,
"Fake your smile, they won't know what you've been hiding."

I slipped the letter under the door,
The sweet remedy of self destruction, and the scent of freshly braided rope.
It's tempting strands called for me.

I slip the only obstacle standing between me and freedom over my neck,
And begin my walk to freedom.

One... Two... Three.
Jump.

One so positively caring and kind
Another so dark and irritable at mind
But why am I so angry towards every being
When the other part of me pushes to be please
I dedicated my time and studies to helping others
End ties with all around me including my dear lover
Found a thick rope abandoned in a box inside my shed
All the unhappiness started rushing into my head
That's all I remembered before I awoke in my bed
I wish I could care again, but I only see red.