How long will you stay uninterested?
In this relationship like me, even you have invested.

My idea of intimacy is based on my lifelong emptiness.
Have you too felt the pangs of loneliness?

How long have I been lonely in this world?
Well, essentially since my lonely & difficult childhood.

And now you might ask me another counter question.
If I had my parents along, why this notion?

Now, tell me, is having parents sufficient?
Surely, we need siblings, friends, and a joint family.

Grandparents help you endure the pangs of loneliness.
Dear, have you ever been directionless?

I grew up without their guidance,
All I had were my busy parents.

How can you judge me based on your experiences?
Come to my world, but take your time to assess.

You say that you chose me as you hope maturity,
But now you know that I'm impulsive like you.

I rhyme a lot,
I whine a little.

I write a lot,
I speak a little.

Allegorical reiteration of my story,
It keeps happening, I keep repeating.

Either you like me,
Or maybe my life.

Or maybe you don't,
Either way you're mine.

Time will bring us close,
Like you say, like you say.

Time will teach you how to love,
Like I express myself, so will you.

Yes, so will you,
Dead sure, so will you.

No, you won't be scared,
For my soul is more scarred.

Than my imperfect body,
My mind is more beautiful.

From my jobs,
I earn money and reputation.

I audit the Railways,
Working for the Government.

Comptroller & Auditor General of India,
My employer.

Indian Railways, the North Eastern Railway HQ,
My paymaster.

While we audit their expenditures,
They even make our paychecks.

I invest in the money market,
And even in the Providence.

But I have reached where nobody speculated,
No, not even I could speculate this.

While I knew that I must succeed,
Even my mother was unsure.

Nobody else knew this for sure,
Well, nobody, nobody except for my father.

Whilst I prepared for the exam,
My mother provided food so nutritious.

Only my father had faith in my potential,
He laughed away all the speculations.

They suggested weird, insulting alternatives,
Sadists the people are oftentimes.

I thank my parents for bringing me here,
And it was my father who gave me the power.

He remained calm throughout,
And his oceanic calm is contagious.

My mother did convey the speculations,
But my father invested his hopes.

Although there is no need to reiterate,
Hope is the most powerful of all the words.

I'm on a train right now,
You might meet me soon.

Born to be brilliant but molded to be subservient.
Oh, glassmith, grant me just one respite from your toneless teachings.
My temperament may be ever-changing, but I deplore the mold you meticulously sculpted.
Oh, glassmith, I implore you to reshape the inferno you cast.
What was the point?
All of those years of hiding, silence, and hate. All of those years of trial by fire and words of ice.
Was all of this in the name of transformation? Well, congrats, you did more than change me. You broke me.
Oh friend, teacher, mother, glassmith, father, executioner, are you happy now?
Have you finally found peace in knowing you have broken my spirit and mind in the process?
Most would think the story would be over, but the pieces are broken not gone.
You still go on living, fractured and tarnished, longing to be whole.
What people don't tend to see is the dust collecting on my face, dust standing still, year after year.
Not being able to move or imagine picking up the pieces of myself that are long lost.
And yet I hope.
I hope that someday I can find the strength in me to outline the broken with the gold hidden within me.
The hope to embrace my flaws and scars.
But until then, I will continue to hope and dream of my imperfect peace.
Oh, spirit, I loved you.