Place one hand on my shoulder
and guide my head under
You welcomed me to the world
so let me drown at your fault
Smile at me faintly as the waves
ripple over my eyes and fill my lungs
Like a babe being baptised
you hold the back of my skull
Now, not to keep me from drowning
but to show me your gentle touch
As my body erupts in panic, I flail
I feel your love
And for the slights you caused
I feel your sorrow
But I am too far gone, no longer
needing your hands to keep me afloat
Or to hold me under

somedays,
i will make a cup of coffee
for my mum and i.
seek solace at the table
find comfort in each other's company.

these are the moments i need.

this is the sweet,
amongst the sour.

Hyperventilating
Gasping for air
Lightheaded
My faint whispers
"Help me"
My bedroom door opens
My mother walks in
"Morgan"
Her annoyed tone is ringing
in my ears
I hear the door close again
She left me
I feel abandoned
And I lay there
All alone
More whispers escape my lips
"Why? Why? Why?"
I needed someone in that moment
I needed comfort
Yet all I feel is emptiness

I love you very much.
I see tears running down
Though your eyes shine
And it seems you're forgetful.

Luck pulled you out of a hat...
Destiny took you by the hand
And Life smiled upon you
As Time waited graciously.

I lit a candle
to finally say goodbye
it felt better like a pill
had cured me
of all my anxieties
you burnt down the wax
like another life
one small light
in the cavernous space
of a church
no more room for blame
no more room for remorse
I've let go of the kite string
like I wish I'd let go of your apron
ties are cut
heaven awaits
I am at peace
and you are at rest