I always love new beginnings, new year resolutions. I love change. I love how January made me feel that "Oh, another year to have fun". I quickly grabbed a chocolate and watched my parents having their own quality time.


They were talking about divorce, and I've always wondered how did divorce even became an option? I never thought he would end the fight with his own fist and her blood. And I hated February, ever since then.


I told my friends that I hated love and how ****** love made me felt last month. They wished love will knock at their door this March. I asked why, they just told me "love isn't always a bad thing, and it never will."


I saw her crying and cursing her boyfriend's name at the corner. The day after that, I hated my Mom for forgiving my Dad, right after what he did. She just told me that's how love works. I guess April was made for bitter people like me.


May is my birth month. It was also the month, when we first met. I never liked the idea of you. You were the kind of guy, everyone can love but not everyone can handle.


I saw you with your friends, you were having fun. You asked me if you can court and steal my heart, I said no, but you continued anyway. June gave me feelings I thought I will never have.


You hugged me tight and asked me to stay. I said, I can't not because I didn't want to, but because I have to. You held my hand and told me you love me. July ended well because of you.


August started with a fight. My Mom hated me. You started talking to other girls, just like how my Dad did. All I did was to cry like tomorrow doesn't exist. You told me how sorry you are, the next day.


I hated September. You told me you didn't love me anymore. I let go of you. I started writing poems since the day you left me. And I guess that was bitter and sweet at the same time.


October wasn't that fun. I drunk my love away and let alcohol control my body. The next day, I found out how I told you how much I love you. And I don't blame alcohol for that.


"You need to move on, it's November already." my friends told me. I remember what my Mom said, so I forgave you for leaving me. But I wished you would never forget about me.


December came with coldness and your warmth is all I craved. I asked your friends, how you were doing, they said, you're fine without me. I used to love change, but now I hate how change overwhelm you completely.

I played each game,
I finished strong.
We talk about things I have little interest in,
I want it to end.

I can smell the cool air from the back of the room,
and I can't wait to embrace it entirely when I exit.

It smells like snow and family time,
if that could be a smell.

It smells,
like an addiction.

Another brand new day, a chance to start again
But if i did so then I'd have to discard all this pain
And as much as it pains me to hold it like so,
Without this experience I'd have nada to show

No stories to tell, no stories to share
No stories from drunken lips spilled without a care
You want to know the truth of it, the world is often cold
And those among us oftentimes succumb to icy holds

I've done so too, dragging my feet
Every day was an encore, every hour on repeat
So the days came, and so too they left
Nothing but a hollow sorrow leaking through my chest

Porcelain became my actions, stone become my face
A facade for my every move, a wolf with naught to chase
The darkness in the skies became the darkness in my eyes
As the darkness in the night became the darkness held inside

Shadows grew longer, so too did my inaction
An enzyme gone cold, with minimal reaction
This lethargy that enveloped every thought that crossed my mind
I crossed off all the pain and laughed, urged the struggles to hide

So struggle i did, so exhausted i grew
A plant of my previous self, all i did was grow roots
Stuck into the Earth with no intention to leave
I found myself worthless, this became my belief

And when i crossed out all my mistakes
These actions shown through carelessness made
An S.O.S called for, a flare launched in the sky
Shining ever brighter than the stars that lit the night

Uprooted and carried, burden i felt
Looking at my limbs satisfied with damage dealt
But hungrily lust for more, so more and more i drew
My laughter marked upon my arms in delirium renewed

Every step and every breath has pushed me off the edge
Until i fell and climbed back up, learned to walk again
My funambulism established, my lifetime the ropes
That once upon a time wound its way around to choke

With every moment left behind, my resolve grows evermore
Mentally i mark myself rather than count a bladed score
And when I've had enough, I'll not give up no more
I have a divine partner whom i love to my very core

And so I'll drag myself upright, so that i die with dignity
And make every day feel like a brand new beginning
Forgive my troubled actions, wish away my pain
Wash away these scars, and let us start again

Some of us let the summer month’s gets to your head
As we feel the heat we become one with nature
Naked, green and unapologetic,
a kind of trend which most people follow,
and hard for the some of us to swallow

Like all other things the summer heat can
Make the darkest man visible, the sleaziest worm
Crawl to the surface, for a dark tan
But it surely cans nectar the honey for  the Gods
Fall is upon us, as our joints began to ache,

Halloween is a drawing near,
Am I the only one whose seem to care?
The fly flies settle down under the broad leaves
And here I am the green poet from New York is visiting Tennessee

Those Hot summer bikini bodies, is now as cold as Niagara Falls  
We fret as we began to throw down, the last of the summer days
Creeping backs into our jean and Woolly Love Heart Jumper:

Suddenly, here come the hurricane months, September,
October and November all with they uncertainties
  
As I kept expressing my feeling into poetry,
With my frequent minds pop no matter how strange
Embrace them I probably will do the same.