.... Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 16 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 8 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days 17 Hours 13 Minutes

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months 3 Weeks 2 Days

Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 30 Seconds
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Minute
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Hour
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 12 Hours
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Day
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 2 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 3 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 4 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 5 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Week 6 Days
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 1 Week
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 2 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 3 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Month 4 Weeks
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 5 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 6 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 7 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 8 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 9 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 11 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 1 Month
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 2 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 3 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 4 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 5 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 6 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 7 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 8 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 9 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 10 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 1 Year 11 Months
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 2 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 3 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 and a Half Years
Time Since I've Cut Myself: 4 Years 9 Months 16 Days 11 Hours

.... Reset

Time Since I've Cut Myself: 10 Minutes

You've done it a hundred times before
But just when you thought the day would come
When you'd lose track of time
You'd forget when it was
And you wouldn't have to count anymore
You thought you were free of it
You'd made it far enough
You thought you'd gone long enough
You thought it was over....

You fall right back to zero.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

every day, it gets worse.
every day and those after, i am once again told,
“it’s your fault”
i know, every day,
that they are not wrong.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

every day and those after,
i lose myself,
more and more.
i’m rotting and
disgusting.
i am lost
and i am scared.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

every day and those after,
i am reminded.
“he felt more anxiety than you ever will,”
she says,
“they left him waiting, thinking his life was over,
for an entire weekend.”
a weekend? ha, amature.
i’ve been knowing.
my life is over, and has been
for seven months.
he got off free,
i got a life sentence.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

be careful- don’t forget!!
he is not a ******,
you are not a victim.
he’s just a boy,
in the moment.
you know how they are.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

maybe i’m just lying.
what if i’m wrong?
and i’m just
a product of what has already happened to me?
since it is my fault,
since i still don’t know how to take accountability,
maybe it’s not even real.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

in church, they talk about ****** purity.
am i going to hell for this?

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

his hands are still all over me.
all
over
me.
i tried to scrub it all away,
the flesh came off my body.
he still found a way
to write his name
on
my bones.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

i can’t look in the mirror anymore.
it’s never me.
every time i look,
it’s always someone new.
a grotesque figure.
i can’t stand to see myself.

it has been seven months since my ****.
it has been seven months since my ****.

my face often becomes numb.
i throw my hands under boiling water and still feel
nothing.

seven months.
that’s
212 days,
5088 hours.
i don’t know who i am
anymore.