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Orion Rosemary May 2021
Between
                Motivation
                              ­     Passion
                                         Fine Point        
                 And  Need
   There is a very

I barely seem to miss it each time

     I don’t know what I want
               I don’t know what I really
                      Love

I know I need to do  s o m e t h i n g   I know I need            s o m e t h i n g
             I need             s o m e t h i n g
s o m e t h i n g          s o m e t h i n g

I can’t seem to learn
                            what
                               ­        What am I
                                     Looking for by
                                          Being here
                                              Today
        ­             Why bother
I know I
Cannot have what
I want
                                         But if I could
                             Give my all for you

              There is no question.
I don’t really know, honestly. But I’ll still try my best.
Orion Rosemary May 2021
I have a vision of my future
one I’m not sure could ever come true
A vision where the world won’t  judge
the love I share with you

A vision of my future
where I could have the guts
To hold your hand in public
Hold each other on the bus

I wish that I could find a place
where I will not be shamed
For gazing in your pretty eyes
that lack in any pain

I wish we could get married
without hearing a complaint
And no one thought twice of our lives and we were normal, plain

But as we walk the sidewalk
most people stare and gawk
As though we are a freak show
or evil they must stop

I only want to love you
Without living in fear
I wish that I could say “I do”
and keep my lovers near
Just some thoughts that can apply to multiple situations.
Orion Rosemary May 2021
I'm just trying to live my life
Like any other human being
I get on the bus, sit on the guys side
I go through my day-to-day

I get called down to the office
I'm told I have to sit on the girls side because I'm in the system as a girl
I tell him I'm not a girl and the heteronormative system is ridiculous
I didn't do anything wrong and sit by myself anyways

He says he will see what he can do
In the hallway not long after, after school ends, going down stairs
I group of kids scream near my ears
I mumble to myself and they touch my head

I said stop
They didn't stop
I turned around
And for the first time in my life I lower myself to violence
And punch one in the leg

I break down
I'm lucky to work with such wonderful people in theatre
I just want to live my life
I just want to be left and not harassed

Im told I can sit on the boys side
I have to sit alone
I can only sit in the front or back
I have to tell the stranger next to me he can't sit there

I want to tell him why
I don't want to out myself
I have to give up the ounce of validation of being treated like a normal guy on the bus by the other guys, who are unafraid to get in trouble for sitting with me cause they don't know what I am or care

I wish...
I wish I was born right just like he and every other guy on the bus

But if I was I would not be me.

I could not understand my own struggles
Or sympathize so much with others

I could not learn and adapt the way I do now
Could not have taught myself to be brave in the same way I am

I could not have the experience of having kids with my spouse the way I want to

I would not have needed to stand up for my rights or that of others

I would not have addresssed my lack of understanding and my internalized transphobia

I am stronger for who and what I am.
My gestalt.
For learning to come to terms with the harsh truths of what I am to the world.

If that wish came true, I would not be me. I would not be
Orion.
An improv prompt from my theatre teacher/director. My group decided to do a funny skit but I wanted to answer it in a heartfelt way on my own separately.
Orion Rosemary Feb 2021
Fiery soul with emerald eyes,
Listen close to my words and what therein lies
Dear sweet thing with dancing sliver hues
A stormy grey or seeping blue

There's nothing more I need than both of you.
So I'll tell you now, I cannot choose
And my dear lover supports, approves

Soft uncertain smile, now please don't shy
Listen close to my words and what therein lies
As for the large bubbly boy holding my hand
Intimidation is not his plan

I would only love one if I found I can
Instead I want to be you gentleman
So I'll approach this gently then

Long-full boy, wishful sighs
Listen close to my words and what therein lies
Because I love you both and hope you'll love me
I want to write a love song for three

Please listen closed
And do respond, darling
It's for my love of you both I'll sing
Ahhh, I'm so lucky my boyfriend is accepting of me and my endeavors. I really hope I can get my crush to unde stand and feel the same.... Regardless, good luck to those who nderstand, and any who are searching for love or maintaining it already.
Orion Rosemary Feb 2019
I love all of  my family
As I always have since birth
Problem is my family has
And may always see me as a Girl

My mom remembers fondly
How I used to love dressing up in pink
But now it seems to bother me,
Like my voice, when I think and speak

I’ve always been a tomBoy
In very single fond memory
I’ve hated being Sister, Small, a Girl, or Mallory
Why can’t it leave Me be

So please, I’m not your Daughter, not one of your Ladies, Sis or Girlfriend
I’m not trying to **** your loved one
Just trying to help you recognize Him
Dead name.... ughhhhhhhhhh
Welp
Orion Rosemary Jan 2019
Fear
Is a terrible reason
To
Or
Not To
Believe

In Something

In Someone

In a God

In Others

In Yourself

Fear is a grandeur adversary to many

But Courage

To Go On and Stand
In the face of Fear

Is the grandest Ally

So many fail to choose
A simple note to others and more so to myself.
Orion Rosemary Dec 2018
They imagined Him again
And again
And again

They tried to replace Him with Her
But They couldn’t
He just kept coming back

They Never took interest in Dolls
Or Castles
Or princes and Princesses

They played King of the hill
with the Guys
Pretended that They were a Knight

They felt and looked awkward in Dresses, the Feminine makeup
Or Long hair

They wore button ups tucked into black, Combing Back hair
And tightening a Necktie

They would cringe at the sound of Their voice,
Their laugh

And hope that They could slip by as Their self
Despite it all

They had denied
Denied
Denied

Just androgynous
Repeatedly
They lied

They lied
They lied
They lied

Make Him go away

Make Her go away

What were They supposed to tell Their loved ones
Though, perhaps They aren’t the only one.
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