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𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚖𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎, 𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢. 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎.
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Remember when we drove to that desert..
We pulled up a cloth from the back of the trunk and laid it out on the cold sand.

It was night time and we would lie to the world about our existence just to be together.

We would lay there staring at the full moon, trying to name the constellations as it shone so brightly and watch the clouds move as the wind carried them.

I noticed everything..i knew it wasn't gonna be forever..you and I.

I felt the shiver as the cool breeze brushed on our skin, as we laid there talking philosophies, theologies, shooting lame *** jokes at each other that only we understood.
And the stars...they would keep us company..

I loved the way the moonlight touched your skin..how the corner of your eyes wrinkled each time you smiled.
It made me smile.

There it was. That moment.
I wanted time to stop.
"Freeze!" I could hear my heart say.

The more I looked at him, the more happy I grew.
But then again, deep down I found myself worrying too.
I felt my heart sink.
I knew that this moment would be gone.
Time wouldn't wait and yet again, he would be gone.

I am happy,
The way life turned out to be.
I'm finally catching up with my mind.

My heart doesn't have a mind of its own anymore.
The conflicts that have made me miserable have disappeared;
"At ease", said the universe.
And I'm back on track.
Life, don't hit me no more.
No more uncertainties.
I've been through enough for this lifetime.

It was September,
I left my home;
With gloves on and a sweater.

I walked to the park;
That same place we once had that spark.

I lowkey wanted to see you again,
I knew you were bad for me,
Yet it was hard to restrain.

I left everything behind,
With only you on my mind

The wind blew beneath my feet;
I noticed the trees began to shed their leaves

I felt my heart race
When I saw you on the other side,
With that smile on your face.

We came closer to each other;
The cold wind made me shudder

The autumn leaves changed colour
And they had begun to fall.

I searched for that love;
The one I yearned so much,
But alas you were out of reach,
Out of love's touch.

Seasons changed..
I saw myself in a white gown,
At my final countdown

I know we aren't in touch,
But would you rescue me
from fate's inevitable clutch.

Then at the moment,
I realised you never left my mind
We were 19 and we were entwined.

You were my summer,
And I was your fall.

these poems express the words i fail to speak
loneliness i fail to admit
moments i fail to remember
sadness i fail to move on from
heartbreak i fail to accept
loss i fail to mourn