she asked for
a birthday calendar
simplistic in design
quite endearing
nonetheless
to collate
each and every
important date
mark them down
in her neatest
clearest handwriting
she thought that
if she hung it
in pride of place
on the wall
by the kitchen door
her eye would
be drawn to it
each time
she left the room
she would not
forget to send
the appropriate message
of congratulations
and many happy returns
when needed
     or expected;
although
the calendar may
coincidentally
be showing
the correct month
it has remained
on that page
untouched
     ignored or
     unheeded
for the past
eleven months

Withering kiss belittles fate
Sultry, affluent, perfection lost
a damnation of intent
skewed by empty plight

endearing atrophy weaves no ties
cut from the crowd
whispers seeking place in time
Wreaking havoc upon sullen breadth

dreams disguise desire
the facade awakens every day
the ghostly touch of weightless hands
deliverance, mourning truth
each dream ached by sunder of hope
remiss of such light, I become mired

such calmness and good comes of the night
by day, there resides no such kindness by my side
I await, forever..

Just because she had eyes
Did not mean
She could see
What was right in front of her

We are all strings held together by a thumbtack
Placed there by a man just trying to get his hope in humanity back
We all connect to somewhere else that we don't want to be
Held in place by more tacks in the backs
Of greasy men and stepped on women and children
In this world tossed  and forgotten in a rucksack
Thrown around amongst a gun, huncuffs, and a gum pack,
Extra...

I was never mad that you lied about the smallest of things.
The things that hurt the most when found that they were indeed true.
If anything you taught me that sometimes faith can easily be misplaced.
Over time it became hard to look in your eyes,
A place I found myself disappearing to often.
Confusing truth for comfort,
Realizing that in a world of fabrication, The best truths are raw.
Often unclothed. A natural happening.
This is what lured me to your eyes.
Not once paying attention to what was going on around me,
Not until the last minute.
The things taken for granted.
The unease hesitation of hands. A certain anxiousness
That shook with the reach of your hand.
Slowly watching a different you appear.
No longer soft, genuine.
Left with the answer to why most facades exist.
A simple truth I myself overlooked in the way that I loved you.
Instead, taking gallons of lighter fluid.
Soaking every inch of myself then placing the box of matches in your hand.
Knowing the outcome. Knowing the difference between right and wrong.
But still having faith that you wouldn't do the things I knew you would.
This was the faith that I had that you were exactly who you said you were,
that you loved me the same exact way that I loved you.
Misconstruing the spark from the box of matches as the spark I seen when we first met.
Mistakes are not uncommon, in most cases it's what's done after that really matters.
Despite the sudden jitters that overwhelmed you, I provided my arms as a place of shelter.
A place that without question, you'd know without a shadow of a doubt would always have comfort.
Never truly realizing that most things of that nature are treated as one sided.
A incomplete truth, selfish in the same nature. 
No matter what superficial truth I saw you wrap yourself in to grant ease of comfort.
I was never mad at you,
How could I be mad at you for being who you were all along.
Learning a fraction, as to why wolves often choose sheep's clothing

I cant drown my demons because they swim. Diving into my every thought creeping into my mind.
Plunging and destroying all the hope
from my fragile heart.
They seep into my soul making it cold, dry, and now withdrawn...
Withdrawn from the outside world shutting everyone out my demons come out from dawn to dark.
These demons causing all these emotional scars and they left a mark. These demons constantly putting me through pain now I'm a recluse that has been misused and abused.
So, I'll be dammed if I let anyone in. These demons forbid my mind from being happy and I shall not dare challenge it because these demons still swimming are
already killing me
Torturing my everlasting existence
When will it ever end?

i said "i love you"
but you keep twisting my words
plunging them until they have no meaning
im depressed, misused, abused, and above all tired.  
god i wish i was dreaming

No matter how loud i scream it
"I LOVE YOU" you cant seem to grasp the passion behind it. ******* me over constantly
Now im sitting on floors staring at pill bottles imagining the possibilities and your the reason for this ****.
Will you be the death of me or my only way of tranquility?
Will you love me like you should or still have me wondering "what would"?

I said "I love you."
3 powerful words you'll always pretend not to hear.