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Atypnoc Jan 2015
We're free
To do, to say, to be
Whatever makes you proud of me
I can oblige, I don’t agree
I can't see eye to eye, you see
I'd lie to try evade that sigh
Assumed reply consumed by why
I had no say conceived the sky
Each passing day perceived too high
Trespassing lay bereaved to die
Til watered ground believed too dry
The forest falls; no use to cry

You never asked to be born to any life
Your say, it mattered none
If ever tasked to bring morning with a knife
Poor day, pit-pattered sun
Wore spray, spit-spattered gun
Swore stay, sit-shattered spun
Floor display wit tattered won

Door away fitted undone
***** will say bitter begun
A score to play hit her home run
Too poor to pay **** owing one

A roar made sore ripcords I tore
Demanding, MORE!
Standing, what for?
No landing, or
Backhanding, or
Still stand ignore
Can't stand no more
Line by line; meaning for the first portion:
They tell us we can be whatever we want to be
that we can speak freely, that the world is our oyster.
But here, I'm only free to become that which you wish of me.
Although I acquiesce, I resent it.
We don't hold the same standards.
I spin fables of what I've done, and hide that which I do, to keep from hearing that heavy sigh of disappointment.
Saying less gives you more room to see me as the daughter you wish I were.
I didn't ask to be born.
I didn't ask to be born with a disorder that requires medications that used to make me into a monster.
I'm ready to go, every night that I lay down
Water the grave with the tears, now dried up
If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, why bother making a sound?
Annie Jan 2015
I was scared, lost
I felt anxious

Happiness betrayed me
And I felt nauseous

I looked into the mirror
Displeasure owned me

I walked out of my home
Demons cloned me

All my life
I was never at ease

I had to take drugs
And little anti-depressant pills

With nobody to share
I felt lonely and unnoticed

Nobody knew my secrets
As I built my anxiety hills

They judged me
Called me someone I never was

I wish,I wished
That they could know my past

And here I am
Its just another night

My heart craves to swallow drugs,
Just so I can finally feel alright
Just what it is.
CC Jan 2015
Desiring material things from this world
Instead of love and passions
Logic trumps everything
Being reasonable heals the mind
From the beating of the heart

The world has less to offer
When you strive for paradise
There’s something about the way
The waves undulate towards me
Coaxing me to die

I don’t like to read books that strain my heart
It would be such a waste of my precious peace of mind
If I even start
The song he’s singing
Helps me get over a heartbreak I’m remembering

I wish I had a lovely home
And a modern body
I get lost in these beautiful things
My brother told me love brings out the worst in us
And I didn't know that until you were dead
Wish I could describe the feeling in my head
Where my eyes are crying no more no more
There’s no heart in here
Instead it’s a bed made of lead
These are the things I hear
The hurtful truths they don’t spare
They are my medicine that daily I ingest
WickedHope Jan 2015
Once we spoke of a room,
A fairly small room,
We could both run to.

I don't quite know what
You sought out of me,
All I wanted was to call
Your arms my home.

But it's quarter past midnight,
And I'm in our room alone, again.

I'm betting that, out of me,
You never wanted more
Than pictures and some words.

You don't need me like I need you --
You never did.

Maybe it's time
I finally stop needing you too.
All you've ever wanted was an interactive fantasy, wasn't it?
- - -
I hate you for doing this to me, but you'll just say it's my fault for caring.
All I am is weakness.
- - -
Remember the one poem out of the hundreds I've written you that you actually asked for? I take it back, especially the lines about beck and call.
- - -
**** this ****, I need to forget for a while.
- - -
Lisa Dec 2014
It's Friday morning as the fresh smell of coffee is a welcomed sight.
The warmth of the sun already streaming through the kitchen window.
I'm feeling it's going to be another long summer's day.
How can anyone not like these days - the thought of grey skies, the continuous sound of rain beating down on the roof, while you are cooped up next to the heater just seems depressing.

A thought goes through my mind as I take a swig of water with my medication,
I wonder what life would be like if I was normal - is there such a thing? I would like to think that we are all unique. Maybe you are expected to act and behave in a certain way, and if you don't - well, then you must have some sort of mental disorder.
Brie Dec 2014
Stabbed by words so deep you sink and drown in your own blood
because you've cried out all of your tears.
Truth so lost almost impossible to be found
Bleeding away your cares
Is this an expression for two?
and when you speak the truth people wonder,
"Am I speaking to the crazy or the sane side of you?"
They say you need help from a professional.
Does this mean that I need to seek help from someone who has experienced my situation
or Some one who is only qualified to deem me insane with their education
Getting payed to pass judgement on my minds creation
Limiting to a life of medication
You're giving people jobs they are not qualified for
So I fake like I take your pills
And walk out the door
No offense but I don't take poison from people who have never been insane before
Makenzie Marie Dec 2014
sickly
is she
but happy she'll be
as we stick needles repeatedly
and run test
after test
on her aching
body
revealing
most always, nothing
every problem so sneaky.
Invisible illness.
one after another
just smiling
at the little lady.
With one
after another
reason to fear.

but happy I’ll be
to tell my story
in a manner so joyfully
to someone as worried as me.
who sees
as I pop
one
after another
handful of medication
a personal army
to defend the life
of the Chronically
me
Hi so this is me: over the past two years I've been on a journey of good health. coincidentally that journey has been mostly discovering how sick I am, and how much I need to do to function properly. It's been a roller coaster, and I've now been diagnosed with 5 Chronic illnesses, coming up on six soon I think. So this is my life. Chronically me, chronically sickly.

Positivity is key.
Chloe Nov 2014
Everywhere I look, there's an emptiness
where you’re supposed to be.
I told the doctors how I see nothing in everything,
so they prescribed pills to help me see.

My room is always so cold
but your breath was so hot.
I told the doctors I still feel it on my neck
so they gave me more pills to make it stop.

I took the pills for years
but they haven’t helped at all
So I stopped the prescriptions
and started my downward fall.

The doctors will never fully understand
that I will always look for you everywhere I go.
Antidepressants and mood stabilizers are making my mind a
bomb, ready to blow.
melina padron Nov 2014
it becomes a glaring match
between me and the girl
on the other side of the island

we go at each other like
tiger cubs, too young to
know when we have sunk
our teeth in too deep.
no chaperone to break
us up and send us away
to our corners
we keep going until
one of us has ended up laying
cold on the floor

it has become
a staring contest
between me and the orange
bottles as its fine print shouts
at me the signs i have
to look out for
just so i can be sane

safe
alright.
Holden Craig Nov 2014
Dear Bliss,
Some day I feel as I I may be able to write an ecstatic poem
Of abstract hues
Of shimmering light
Avoiding the blues
Avoiding the fright

Dear faith,
Some day I feel as if I may be able to write a hopeful poem
Of curious faith
Of embracing hope
Avoiding struggling fate
Avoiding chiseled rope

Dear Me, Myself, and I
Some day I feel as if I may be able to tip toe
Across the ash
Without burning my calloused feat.
Some day
Anti-depressant
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