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cr Nov 2014
i want to go home
and swallow each tablet
in the bottle of pills
which are supposed to
make me not want to
do so.
trigger warning trigger warning trigger warning trigger warning
Sin Rose Nov 2014
I don't want to live on medication
my whole life.
I want to get better
but I dont.
this has been a part of me for so long
that I don't want to let it go.
Henk Holveck Oct 2014
open the door
a man stands there with a smile
the package he passes
is not on my Christmas list
that doorway sure is no chimney.

shaking, frightened, it's finally time
alone, i unfasten the bag,
as if it's the first brithday
that my grandma is no longer with us.

this was the most expensive present
i have ever received
although the grantor is no ******* Santa Claus
&
that instant i recognize
my existence
lies in these jars.

i outwitted mother nature
if i begin consumption
i live

if not well.....*How Will It End?
Emily Overheim Oct 2014
Dry white pills rattle
in their dark green chamber.
Large and hard and pure,
they leave soft dust
where they clack together.

The cap spins free easy
when I fumble the bottle
and they trip eagerly
into my hand, so that
I must select my savior.

It takes hold of my muscles
and releases their grip on me,
fills my hanging head with its
whiteness rather than my red,
and gives my grinding teeth peace.

It ushers in sleep,
who has circled at the door,
smooths the sharp edges
of my breath in the
darkness, and tucks me in.
r0b0t Oct 2014
Self-medicate to keep the hatred down
Self-medicate to keep the ***** down
Self-medicate to keep the sadness down
Self-medicate and pick your poison
pick the one you haven't tried for a newer
buzz
for a newer feeling
for a newer hate
self-medicate, extrapolate
miss yourself and all the hate
because the devil is mine today
the devil is mine today
to do with what I please
self-medicate and fall
a spiral
a helix
something familiar to feel the feelings
something familiar to feel the people cry
self-medicate to feel your mother cry
what am I becoming today, who shall I be
a dashing rogue who doesn't care, someone alone
a dashing rogue at the bottom of an ocean
with a portal to another world where I am normal
where I matter
*self-medicate
Emily Overheim Oct 2014
Stumble on the ragged bones and fur of a deer above the spring,
choke on fear and grab your dog, drag him (and you) away.
Three years later, come upon the picked over corpse of a button buck in the upper field,
notice that there’s only half of it, back away and shudder.
Older now, pass half a dozen bloated carcasses along back country roads,
sigh, swerve to avoid the bloodstains on the pavement.
Meanwhile, your father’s got a doe in the bed of the truck strapped down still warm,
step back to keep the ****** snow off your boots, smile.
There is blood dripping from your nose and your brain feels like it’s rotting,
a blight of molding fur in a fallow field; picture fire, not bones.
Before, herds crept from the tree line at dusk while you sat around the flames,
grazing the lower field until they bolted at the howl of coyotes.
There is a bottle of pills and a carved antler whistle on your dresser;
one could save you, one might **** you. You know which is which.
Stagger through the woods with blurring eyes and a hanging head,
trip on a mouse-chewed antler and pick it up, smile, list right.
There is a white fawn standing plain in the bottom field that will disappear come winter.
Pull the arrows from your eyes; you can feel them, you know they’re there.
When the pain leaves you will run, fleet as deer, and outstrip the exhaustion that
howls at your heels. You will be alive again, and stop rotting.
Meanwhile, try not to trip on your bones, body trying to drop as though from a headshot.
Don’t lie down yet- the blood will scrub clean eventually.
Chicken-scratch staining
this prescription glass grasping
on getting life back.
Mary K Oct 2014
The whole wide world is pumped with meds.
Through our water and into our heads.
When we're not looking and when we don't care.
And we wonder why it seems unfair.
Our heads stand strong while our bodies lie still,
Nobody cares and nobody will.
We're all so sad and we don't know why,
Always looking for a way to die.
People come and places pass,
It's hard to see when all is moving so fast.
Money is the trophy but is it worth the price?
Why should we care about looking so nice?
Behind closed doors is where it all goes down
While all they do is look on and frown.
And pump the meds until we're numb.
How could we be this dumb?
Um.
Sorry
Spencer Dennison Sep 2014
A girl approached me today.
She felt sorry for me.
She said that she wanted to help me.
"Go home to your family, girl.
You don't need this in your life."
I said.
Maria Villalta Aug 2014
This will make you feel great,
while you're suffering.
The pills will help you,
while everything is dark.

Doctors say this is
the only option I have.
My head is already ****** up,
I don't even know how I am alive.

But I kinda prefer this,
It's way better,
Than see you
Suffering.

(m.v.a)
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