I wish to remember the bad
the fallouts and the fights
the arguments we had
Could I be delusional
out of touch, insane?
For nothing negative comes
when I search my brain
Rather all you bring
is happiness here
stirring up old feelings
many of which I fear
What truly scares me
that I lie to myself about
is that I'll never move on
and take to the grave my doubt.

I love the way I can hate
Your screaming
Your blaming
and all your misery.
You blame me for spreading in.
And then you hate me
for what you put me through!

And all your disbelief
that you comfort me with,
all your hatred
all your lying,
the way you played with me
I miss the way I can hate!

Cause I know its you, not me!
You turned my simplest taste
into a worthless meaning.
The way you were holding me
Your tainted caress
struck the void in me!

Where the **** are you?
I hope you're satisfied.
You're nowhere to be found.
I'm not missing you
I just miss the way I hate you!

Person 1:
So how was your long weekend?
Me:
Uhmmm great

Person 2:
Did you have a great holiday?
Me:
Yeah of course

Me:
Why do I lie to everyone?
Me:
It’s what we do so they don’t know we’re miserable just like everyone else is

*sigh

My kidneys are failing me
But I have failed them too
I tried to **** myself
Yes I'm starting on a taboo.

But I do have to admit
One very sad little fact.
I never wanted to end my life
It all was just one sick act.

I know, it's low.
But don't cheer up just yet.
If I did it for a lack of attention
that you didn't give, and I didn't get.

Then what does that make of you?
Do you feel any better?
I still managed to harm my health,
Not dying doesn't end my letter.

I need love and acception
So I happen to just ask it wrong.
People make mistakes,
And I've made them so long.

I at least care to come clean,
I have the feeling, I'm never seen.
I speak the truth when I say,
I've never chosen the wrong way.

I just needed you
And you needed me too
I'm not there, but neither are you
It's not fair, but we're not seeing through.

We're both wrong
And no ones right.
And now you're gone
And I gave up the fight.

Mirror mirror on the wall
Whos the strongest of them all
Say it's her
Not me for sure

Beauty bright
With all her might
Quaking the land
She takes her stand

She knows not
Of strength that's lost
Always there
Gain for share

When she sees
She'll go to her knees
Rise and shout
You ALL get out

Much more than known
All this I own
I didn't get it
Head on ive now met it

Dark endless night
Guns flickering light
Bang bang bang
Oh, just another gang

It’s mad outside
Tell me I’m lying

Lying in my bed
Wishing you were here
Your face stuck in my head
It’s the darkness that I fear

I guess I’ll just hide
Until people stop dying

Small hands are squeezing organs,
from my stomach to my esophagus.
It all feels horrible,
like a spell was done and worn off again.
Manipulative magic, I’ve been here before.
But never with you.
I never thought I’d find you here.
Choking on the breadcrumbs of your alibi.
You were never good at hiding tracks.
The trails always led to the same place,
And now I’m doubting everything
from the color of your leaves,
to the sound of the wind.
Working off a sweat,
this relationship gave me baby weight.
For you it was whatever, so I roll them, you say “Baby, wait.”
Candy glass houses for your candy ***.
Sugarcoat everything you’ve omitted.
I disbelieve everything you’ve admitted.
Fire poker mumbles over the phone.
You’ve been lying with the witch
(‘s)is tongue still off limits?
I won’t step into the fire for you.
I’ll be out of the woods, soon.
Pebbles of wisdom instead of bird food.