Small hands are squeezing organs,
from my stomach to my esophagus.
It all feels horrible,
like a spell was done and worn off again.
Manipulative magic, I’ve been here before.
But never with you.
I never thought I’d find you here.
Choking on the breadcrumbs of your alibi.
You were never good at hiding tracks.
The trails always led to the same place,
And now I’m doubting everything
from the color of your leaves,
to the sound of the wind.
Working off a sweat,
this relationship gave me baby weight.
For you it was whatever, so I roll them, you say “Baby, wait.”
Candy glass houses for your candy ***.
Sugarcoat everything you’ve omitted.
I disbelieve everything you’ve admitted.
Fire poker mumbles over the phone.
You’ve been lying with the witch
(‘s)is tongue still off limits?
I won’t step into the fire for you.
I’ll be out of the woods, soon.
Pebbles of wisdom instead of bird food.

I tried to reach your expectations
But all it did was put me into frustration
Felt like I had been locked away, with the key thrown away
Locked away just watching the day go by
day by day, covered in dust. I didn't know what to say
Dust covered, body decay. What the hell should I say
How do I even say it, If I say it he'll loose it
If I try take it back, all he’ll do is use it and abuse it
We used to be able to share and care, But then I turned it to ****
Everything turned black and white, I didn't know who was right
Fight or flight came over me that lying in bed that night
I didn't know if I should fight or run from him again
Thought he was my friend, but then again I can be wrong
I wonder what he’ll do if he ever reads this
If he’ll ever forgive me for what I did to him
His life over mine, I was just in a bad time
I spun his life into lies and I put him on the line
My life over his starting making me go blind
Had his trust, then if faded away like rust
Every lie I made up was a kick in the dust
I know he wont forgive me, but trying is a must
I now talk to him day and night
Just trying to make things right
Im starting to talk to him again as a friend
Hoping hating each other wouldn't be our end

Time and time again I tried to look past the lies
Time and time again I always asked myself why
Why'd you do it, why'd you do it, just why…
Started dating awhile ago, we went and rushed into it
Like little kids trying some new ****
Thinking, oh yeah this is gonna last
Month in, then it ended and shattered like glass
Then going and spreading lies, having to sit beside you in class
Wondering how much time had passed
I didn't even want to see your face
It was never the right time or place
You're a party girl, while I'm just a simple country boy
The kinda guy who doesn't go around saying, who shall I destroy
It was funny when you acted like I was a golden boy
Telling me I was a good kid. Its not you, its me
Could've just told me that you wanted to be free
But then again, I did get one hell of a story
I could abuse the story, But thats not me. Ill turn it into poetry
Lets get down to this forgiveness business
Would I say I forgive you? to an extend, yes
You were just going through some ****, been there done that
I just don't know how much trust i should give you back
You did just take it and throw it around, thats a fact
Maybe next time we talk, I’ll actually give you some eye contact
But right now, trust is what we lack
That’ll take time for you to earn back
Thought I should make things a little less black and white
But right now, I’ll see you under the next spotlight…

I feel like im dying
Im not even crying

Im always lying
To you especially
Cant you see
Im not happy

Like a rose I bloomed
Like an Echinopsis
I was gone in a day
Too weak to stay

I say I don't like you
         Try to convince myself the feelings are gone
Pretend to be okay with all of this

         Then I watch you run
Your fingers through your hair
         And my heart drops

he is a parasite
he is a leech

he feeds on your blood
he is full of greed

he has a plan to put you down
without even your notice

he started with love bombing
he ended on blaming

he did projection all the time
he injected toxicity within your happy soul

he targets his prey
he handles ten at times

he can never be loyal
he does chronic lying

show him the mirror
show him the death

cut off his oxygen
don't ever interact

I wonder, are you really glad?

Or are you lying? Are you sad?

Understanding people is hard to do.

Especially people like you.


You smile and seem happy all the time.

But when you're alone, you don't seem fine.

I worry a lot. You should know.

I would tell you but my words can't flow.


I worry that you're just lying.

Being my friend and smiling.

I'm worried I'm not good enough.

I'm worried about what we'll become.


And you know, I worry too much.

To what I see to what I touch.

If you need to talk, I'l be here.

So don't worry, I won't disappear.

Maybe I'm tired.
What if I told you I couldn't remember the last time I've gotten more than seven hourse of sleep?
Would you believe me?
I could be lying to you.
I could be lying about staying up, starring at my ceiling with bloodshot eyes, thinking about what a girl, with purple hair and a heart, that once used to be so cold, told me words that i never wanted to hear.
Even if it might have only been in a dream
Evenifitdidntmakemefeelanything
Imtootired
Tofeelanything
M­aybe you'd believe me if I described it with intricate detail?
How
The air was cold and the blanket I slept with didnt quite cover my shoulders or my feet
How the coldness touching my skin
Just matched the temperature
Inside my chest
and how
The side of my bed dipped from
Broken metal springs
Just like my bones
That felt close to dust
Because of the exhaustion
Dripping
Off of my being
How
the red numbers on my alarm clock were six minutes too far
From the present
and
How the metal rings on my right hand
Cut into
My skin
But not enough to break the surface
How the hours passed
And i did not blink
I could not look
Away
From the glowing stars I so oh
Deperately wanted to return to
To recycle myself into this earth
And maybe have a slight chance
Of giving back
Some
Of all that I have taken from it
If
It meant
I wouldnt be so tired
But I could be lying.
I could be.
What if I am?
If I told you I was, would you believe me?
Maybe not
Because only someone who has felt like that can put it into pretty words? So I musnt be lying?