Wind in my face, skateboard wheels careening toward my destination with a fervent pace, so many groceries on my mind. My music blaring within my ears, filling the world with some gift wrapped three minute long purpose for being. No one else is in my world as I roll along the concrete sides, just enjoy the beauty of the moment. Then tragedy strikes like a viper in the dark, the spot in my mind that I manifested with wood and wheels and speed, all set to a musical soundtrack is shattered with a single blow. Not a pebble or unseen ledge but you. You come into vision, my thief of heart and soul, my dreamtime tormentor, my love that won't or can't subside. Trailing behind you of course is whatever you've replaced me with, some superior person in appearance or attitude. As I roll ever nearer, all can do is imagine our perfect conversation, you know the one... That one makes you fall in love with me again. but as our bodies close in on each other, almost until I could grab you and kiss you with the supreme passion I still feel, my imagination melts back into the part of the brain that keeps me sad and all I do is make a fake smile in your direction give a half hearted waive and continue passed, trying not look back at you and the person beside.

The store I find, has an excellent selection of wine and spirits. I pick one, douse myself in it's forgetful qualities and sleep without dreams. For once leaving you out of where you should no longer reside.

Clovers, big and small,
Soft and rich in luckiness.
Trust would form in us,
Connected like the leaves.

Mud, seemed as smooth as marble,
Splashed over melted chocolate.
Although built brick by brick,
Creativity sped it up.

Tiny lost details used to come from our hands.
Forever fun in bending paper.
Letters flipped over by pen.

Together like the stars and the moon.
Raining sparkles, we were one . . .

Until mountains crashed the charming greens,
Greens filled with pure luck.
They shouted and cried,
Suffocating through day and night.

Nature disobeyed the mud,
Right beneath our feet.
Smoothness was swept away,
By the howling wind.

We got split up into stages.
One lower, one higher.
The mountain became uneven.
One smooth, one spiked.

Great deep cracks began to appear in our circle.
And now it seems that even our stepping stones differ.

No feelings, only doubts.
It has been a long, long time . . .

My dear old friend,
How do you feel about me?

it rained the next three days after
the dreadful words fell from your mouth.

really wasn't up for the talk, yet you
proceeded anyway and there it was
out of nowhere that feeling I hadn't missed.

suddenly as I sat in your passenger seat where I sat just the day before
perfectly content, your words stabbed my heart.

you said you liked me so much it hurt
however you needed time to work on yourself. to me all I heard was the slamming of another door, and the noise killed.

they say when one door closes another will surely open soon.
I don't want any other door to open unless you're standing behind it.

you promised this isn't a goodbye
instead a see ya later. problem is
there's no guarantee of that. I'm
scared to death of holding onto nothing all over again.

in the mean time, the leaves will continue to fall, lovers will continue to love, and I'll stay here dazed counting the days on my fingers and toes & then all over again since I last felt at home when my lips were on yours.

please don't leave me.

you stole away
the stars
burning within
my psyche

now i have
reduced
to crawling
in the dark

i never
understood
what it was
like

to forget
how to count
your lucky stars

until they all
vanished
right before
my eyes

I love Grief.
Grief is the only thing that keeps humans going.
Happiness slows us down,
Sadness Hinders you,
Anger Blinds you.

Grief Gives you A Goal.

When Your Luck pops right back Up,

You will Succeed.

If I only had one wish to make
I would have wished your eyes to be a Wishing Well,
So that I could drop all my dreams about you into them
And I know you will make me lucky someday.

alone and awake
pressing a small silver coin
between sky and glance