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Syd Oct 2021
Do I wanna leave?
Or do I just wanna stay with you?
What’s the point of this whole thing
if I don't know what I’m gonna be?
What do I do with my life?
Where would I be without you?
Think my health’s important,
but how important could it be
if they’re shoving homework
down the throats of kids at 17?

I know I’ll regret staying in this whole thing,
but when it ends they’d all love me.
Doing it all for the wrong reasons.
Maybe one day I’ll know what’s right.
But what if it’s wrong
to leave?
What if this is what I’m meant to be
but I might come out of it dead.
Just wanna see what it’s like.
Could **** me just to save time.
It’s not worth the time if it cuts out years
of my life, due to stress.
The only reason to stay is for the "what ifs"
and nothing else, so maybe I should leave.
Not that that would be saving my mom any
money
But it’s whatever, I suppose.
I’m better than I used to be,
but I wasn’t built for this life.
Is it self-hatred to say I wouldn’t make it?
or is it protecting myself
from death by mental illness?

I’ll think it over, I still have some time.
Just feel like I’m misleading everyone,
not that they thought that this thing
was for me.
But what if it was?
Not that it has more positives than the opposite.
They asked me if I’ll leave
and I said maybe.
I just turned 15, and I think I might leave ib.
it's a really hard decision
Loving me
or leaving me
will never change
the memory.
Indonesia, 9th October 2021
Arif Aditya Abyan Nugroho
WickedHope Sep 2021
You laugh
My anxiety strangles me
You laugh
I am too big taking up too much room
You laugh
I long for days when nothing I did mattered

You leave
I wish I could go too
I miss KB and 2am, looking at me and reading my mind.
Zack Ripley Sep 2021
Can I hold your hand once more
Before you walk
through the next door
And leave me behind forevermore?
Alina Sep 2021
I can't help but wonder of your life outside these silly little walls. What memories and experiences have you acquired that I will never know? Tell me about your losses and your Christmas morning snow. How did your favorite day start and your worst evening end? Whats the drive down your street like or the name of your best friend? What was the layout of your freshman dorm or even just your after school norm? I can only imagine the little moments that make up your days, do you think you could should me all the ways you think and laugh and love? Then tell me what it is you dream of, I want to know you inside and out, as you leave me wanting more like a flower in a drought.

A.C.
Its not going to **** you,
Just leave it alone.
I dont get why people cant handle silence in an interaction. Its o.k.a.y. Trying to fill it was fake laughs and words that are just there to end it doesnt do any good.
Gerald Jun 2020
You gave back only a fraction of what I gave. Leaving me to wonder where all the other pieces went.

And I gave you all of me.
A flash of light blinds me
A loud sound disrupts the silence
A shiver runs through my spine
Sudden coldness engulfs me

The feeling reminds me of you
The warm embrace I once felt
The comforting whispers I once heard
The loving gaze I once felt

You're like the rain
So sudden, I wasn't ready
So comforting yet so frightening
And just like the rain, 
You vanished so suddenly
Zack Ripley Aug 2021
I didn't change for me.
I didn't change for you.
I changed because I had to.
But the one thing I could never change
Is who I am inside.
Because who I am is too important
to leave behind
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