I drown in sadness
I don't let go
It's my curse
The curse of strings
Tied so tightly they choke me
I can't break the bonds
No matter how I try
I am caught in a web
Of memories
Of hope
Of dreams
Of the past
Cut short
By me
I am a knife
A knife that can't cut myself loose
Only scare away
I threaten, I menace
Yet I remain bonded

I suppose even the sharpest blades have their limits

One day i woke up at around 11 am.
I went down stairs everyone else was asleep.
I went in my kitchen.
I was going to make something to eat.
I grabbed a knife.
I stared at it.
i went in my back room and sat on a chair.
I sat there for 3 hours.
Thinking, of my mistakes, the pain,the hurt.
It was january 13th
A piece of snow started to fall.
I looked around me.
I looked at everything.
I remembered every little thing about that moment right there.
I thought to myself im to much of a coward to cut myself.
I thought wrong.
I put the knife away.
Then I looked at it again.
Everyone was still asleep..
My mum was dead asleep.
I sat there again.
On that chair.
I took the knife and started going across my wrist back and forth..
Then it broke threw.
My wrist started bleeding.
I cut further down.
From that day on i cut myself every night.
Within one week i had 100 scars on my wrist.
After that it kept adding.
I broke my vein for the first time on my birthday..
During this time i started starving myself around january 20th.
I stopped eating.
I could barely ever sleep.
The day of my 14th birthday i took that same knife and stabbed it straight threw my wrist..
Today is july 4th
we're supposed to go out tonight
I'm sitting here.
8ame.. everyones dead asleep.
I'm staring at the knife again.
I'm here to say my goodbye.
This time i look outside.
Theres a bird.
Im on the same chair.
Only different season.
For whoever finds this.
I'm sorry for the pain.
But i am dying inside every day.
So here goes the knife threw my wrist..
Goodbye world.

Maybe tonight
With this knife
I can finally end
My life.

What's happening?
My feeling is keeling
over like a rooster
Losing my sanity
All feeling's vanity.

Where's the knife?
I want to survive.
I don't want to be trapped
in this stage of insecurity
I need to let loose,
like a goose.

Blood's all over the room.
This never-ending feeling
of satisfaction
what is it?
Is this
Life?
Death?
Happiness?
Sadness?
mAdne$s?
I've forgotten how to tell.
Do I need help?
Am i in vain?
In p@in?

I'm laughing.
I can't ** stop.
Is this humor?
Horror?
My third eye
has closed
my actions
are no longer futile
the heads
hanging from the ceiling fan
are you pr0ud of me?
Mom?
Why are you quivering?
Why are you running?
"WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"
That's what your lips are saying.
Why're you on the floor?
You're still breathing.
Are you sleeping?
C'mon, wake up.
cAN I pLay w!tH yOU, Too?

You can't **** anyone
with a blunt poem.

Sharpen it.

Once upon a time,
You tossed my emotions in the shredder.
I paid you back in flesh.

Nervous,  I grasped the knife.
Pressing it against me,
Right before the puncture.
I freeze. My arm feeling the sting.
I gather myself. Deep breath.
Serated blades saw away,
Breaking skin, tearing muscle.
Then the blood drips.

We exchange wounds,
Cut for cut.
It wasn't love, just pain.

I’m cracking my mind
Spilling on the floor
You’re attacking me once more

With a knife
That holds the dictionary
I wish we were ordinary

With a gun
Cocked and loaded
Each bullet molded

With your fist
Rough, soft, and smooth
The weapon I choose
Is you.

Life is like a knife...

Its only dangerous if you play with it.

So be careful to hold it tight
And care for it with all your might.