Janus has a grand auld pair of heads:

One looks backwards on all the **** and grime, on the ****, on the limescale, on the mould, on the excrement, on the muck and grit and gunge and gunk, on all that wastage of human time, toiling away, scraping at the rot and the filth and slime, and besmearing the earth afresh, and blessing it.

The other looks forwards on all the **** and grime, on the ****, on the limescale, on the mould, on the excrement, on the muck and grit and gunge and gunk, on all that wastage of human time, toiling away, scraping at the rot and the filth and slime, and besmearing the earth afresh, and blessing it.

January is new
A fresh start.
A time when you ponder life.
Where were you a year ago?
Where will you be a year from now?
You can only hope not here.
Not feeling like this.
This year has been hell.
You know I don't think I can go one more.
I guess we will see.
January is a fresh start to a mess.
Good luck.

The light yet constant rain
Erases all traces
Of yesterday's midsummer heat.
My floral skirt billows
Filled with icy wind
As I cross the bridge with my umbrella.

Today is January 1st
And winter is five months away,
But you wouldn't know it from my frozen fingers
That grip the umbrella handle
And try to steer it with the wind.

My other fingers are fumbling a grocery list
Deep in the pocket of my thick coat.
And I look out over the grey city
To the misty ships and steely ocean.
The rain has washed away the horzion
And I cannot tell the sky from the sea.

Today is January 1st
And instead of endless possibilities
I can only see a myriad
Of miserable days like today.

We sat in the backseat of your car
parked across the street from the
godawful
house I was staying in at the time.
We sat quietly for a few moments
still unsure of how to act around each other now.
I could feel your eyes on me
a smile forming automatically.
(**** nerves)
"What are you thinking about?"
I turned to meet your gaze
and an unspoken staring contest began.
Without a pause
you answered,
"I was wondering if I've ever told you you're beautiful."
It was unexpected.
It was honest.
It was cute as hell is what it was.
I thought about it for a second. "Probably."
I shrugged. Playing it cool.
Pretending a whole migration of butterflies
did not just migrate right into my stomach.
We thought some more
and then
you whispered
"you're gorgeous"
and I felt my heart break.


*s.mndi

This year
I am green and new and certain.
I am warm and pink,
Deep and soft as your crimson kisses.  
Bold as the spring wind gracing my open arms.

A day recedes,
     I'll chase down one more night
A lamed and hobbling Spring
     tries to outrun the tide
of all the misspent months
and all this wasted time

          The northern breeze sings cold,
          it sighs through tattered topsails
          sea of questions waits.
          schools of unanswered voicemails

My footfalls share the sidewalks,
                                          steady,
sure­. Still young but glimpsing old and stumbling

Walking outside
soaked lungs need some new air
I'm nervous and shaking
fold the map, don a blank stare
my days wearing on
               fill 'em up with a fool's words
               I'm saltwashed, stuck and
               peeling paint off my memory
               for now.

A day's been seized--
          a metered length of life
Can't place a price on Fall
          and can't outrun the tide
of these layered seasons
as his time unwinds

          The eastern wind comes hard
          and shreds through mended mainsails
          river of answers dried
          so ask the waving cattails.

His footfalls know the sidewalks
                                        leaking
down sidestreets' asphalt tributaries

Walking around
A hitch in his slow gait
A ghost of our town
shuffles on with a fixed gaze,
his days playing out,
               As he strides down the sidewalks
               his life plays a film,
               flashing bright on glazed eyeballs

And I'm southbound,
4 p.m. driving Orange Street
completely drowned--
               --swore I woke up in Gimli,
                Manitoba January
                seared into my youthful memories
I'm freezerburnt
                Autumn heat, don't leave me
I'll hold your hair if you're feeling sickly,
then drive back home.
                Autumn heat, don't leave me now.

                ...Autumn heat, don't leave me now.

I will write about you every day
in verses, in words, in peculiar lines.
First, about how you never left
my tiny center when
our eyes first met.
And lastly, to no end,
how you will, in that space,
(would every day for this year) stay.

I will write about you every day
and hereupon, I lay my words
in my behalf.

Hearts** were made to bloom and flower
Share the joy, don't fall to power.
Follow your path and don't lose your way.
To yourself true you must always stay.
Soon enough you'll find the one
Who makes you happy before your time is done.