as I get older, my patience starts to grow weak.
I no longer have the ability to keep my head above water in situations that just require a simple swim,
I'm not sure if that has something to do with being wiser and knowing my efforts mean very little or if I now just wholeheartedly believe in the idea of justice.
justice is a funny concept, because no matter what happens,
what road we take,
end we choose
or goodbye that is argued, cried over and finally settled on,
my chest will never settle and my heart will never stop crying out in regretful agony knowing a person gets to continue on their life with pieces of me in their pocket.
they get to decide when to think of me-
driving by my favorite bookstore,
when somebody mentions a place I used to work,
running into my old friends and hugging them with undeserved joy- they get to decide when to look back at memories and when they want to smile, cry or laugh.
they get to decide what parts of me live on inside of their memories,
and what they'd simply rather forget.
she has pieces of me I will never get back, and it isn't enough that one day ill be a person she never touched,
I have so much love inside of me, so much good, and ill never let anybody take that again.
these letters might sound bitter, but they are just a reminder to know what giving myself away means.
these are things ill never be able to get back, undo, take away,
I know this feeling won't stop me from handing them out,
as freely as people will accept them.
I have so much love to give.