It is through the pathological:
The presented image of the journey
as being that of the road, less traveled--
a foundation of sand,  presented
as being that of bedrock..
It is the ancient shortcut's  need
to prop up it's own deception
that is of that which harbors  the greatest judgement
        of all that is upright
and it is upon these agenda-ed, subjective pallettes
that the pastels are mixed and arranged,

as the landscape of the world's reality
becomes,  painted.

it's not enough, my waist spits at me in the mirror
I know there's so much more, she spits as I undress
it hurts - Well, there's no time to be hurt. No, not now.
You don't want to upset him, do you? I know you don't.
i don't. - Then close up. It's time to make him want you, Ok?
ok. - Let's start with your face. There are some things I dislike.
Too straight, too narrow, too large, too small. Don't you agree?
yes. help me. - Oh, I will, dear. Now, will you give everything?
everything? -Yes, I need everything. Give your chest and soul.
You're not hungry anymore. Okay? -you're right, i'm not.
Hold your stomach in, get up earlier, ****** him
Find your passion, but don't abuse it. Oh, and
Don't forget: do it all in heels. No one cares
If it hurts. If it looks good, you're set, see.
Learn how to be smart, not too smart
Don't worry that he looks at them
Just look better. -you know it
won't change anything.
I do. but you need it. No one will like you if you don't, especially not him.
i see... is this enough?
No, my dear.
it's not?
No.
ok.
-

A B C D E F G
d  r  o  i  x a  e
a  a  n  l  u b n
p  v  s  i  b u e
t   e  i   g e  l  r
a      d  e r  o o
b      e  n a u u
l       r   t n  s s
e      a      t
        t
        e
H I  J K L M N
a  n a i  e   a  i
n  t  z n g  g  c
d u  z g i   n  e
s   i  y    t   i
o  t             f
m i             i
e  v            c
    e            e
                  n
                  t
O  P Q R S  T  U
b   a  u e  i   a   n
e   s   i  s  m s   i
d   s  e  o  p  t  q
i    i   t  u  l   e  u
e   o      r  e   f   e
n   n     c       u
c    a     e       l
e    t      f
      e     u
             l
V W X Y Z
a   i   e  o  i
l    t   n u  n
u   t   i   t  g
e   y   a  h
          l   f
              u
               l

my friends told me
i've lost too much weight
is the mirror lying
or are they?

i will learn to taste the honeydew
and pretend to like it

i will taste the honeysuckle
and not have to pretend

i will feel grass in my hands and
say it is the best of life

and not the woman i need between my teeth

i am not ferocious, not demanding, not unwise,
simply at peace.

i am the sparkler to the firework
the star to the sun
the kitten to the lion.

but are these not all one and the same?

i see dandelion seeds and
though they are weeds i will
watch their dance anyway

i dive into agua dulce
wishing to be stardust instead of glitter
but glitter is certainly better than ash

under the water i have a moment to myself
where it
takes my screams into pockets of air
floating up without consequence

escaping my body at last in
a beautiful anonymity

may watchful eyes devour my body
unmarked, unblemished, devoid.

and they will watch as i make myself perfect

…but if the powdered sugar somehow melts off of my skin
i beg you to look away
for your sake and mine

Light is dripping from the ceiling
(looks like you don’t really care):
If you stay with me this evening,
I will be your teddybear.
I will tuck you in at night,
Make you feel that it’s alright.

Drumroll, bass, guitar and fiddle
(you’re as quiet as they get):
If you care to die a little,

I will be your cigarette.
At your lips I’ll burn and fly,
All in ashes, to the sky.

Men are smashed, somebody fainted
(you just look completely fine):
If, perhaps, you’d like to get it,
I will be your glass of wine.
Cheer you up when you are sad,
Tip your tongue with viscous red.

Now it’s closing time, the last call
(seems that you would like to leave):
If you fancy cheeky rascals,
I will be your rebel chief.
I will play both Stark and Blaine,
Conquer countries in your name.

Half-transparent, slim, and curly,
You have almost fled my sight:
If you need to get up early,
I will be your taxi ride.
Safely drop you by your door
Not expecting something more.

I’ve seen clearer eyes than his,
but there has never been
a sharper image of myself
reflected
back at me
than I see in his.