ANu dei dawns..  
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His name is Antoine

sp1nning
fluctuat1ng
all around me

the 1mages never stay the same
as soon as 1 think 1 see 1t
1t changes
a small shift
throwing my percept1on 1nto a d1zzying dance

c1rcular room
m1rrors enfolding me
1n a reflect1ve embrace

1 see myself
warped
1n a million d1fferent places
a superf1c1al 1mage of me

the embrace of the m1rrors
turns strangling
constr1cting snapshots of my face

gasp1ng
chok1ng
for air

but relief does not come

1 am encased in a million different vers1ons of myself

I’m not entirely sure on how to start,
Other than I have depression,
I feel like I’m falling apart...
This isn’t exactly how I wanted it to be,
But we don’t always get want we want,
I’m just trying to let you know, let you see.
I’m always shrugging my shoulders,
I can’t seem to really get used to it?
But I’m not getting any bolder.
It’s like drowning,
Chained to a rock, i’m Sinking.
I can’t stop, i’m Always thinking.
Crying out of nowhere is fun as well,
It makes me wanna give up my soul,
Literally feels like I’m living in hell.
I don’t ever really talk about it,
No one really... cares?
I don’t know how anyone feels about it...
I just sorta... sit in this silence.
Waiting for this weight to go away.
I don’t like it down here,
I don’t wanna stay.
But I gotta, because i’m Chained.
My mind is insane, constantly strained.
I just wanna go back into your arms,
Where I feel at home.
That way... I can feel some sort of comfort.
I know this is probably not the best poem to explain how I feel,
But it’s the best I could do, I finally broke the seal...

I feel sick in my soul
Sour aftertaste of my inner thoughts
Chase it down with some Heineken
Then sleep till morning breath

I suffer from generalized anxiety
and I just want people to understand it
but mental illnes is frowned upon by society
Some days I'm fine but I must admit
I'm always just teetering at the edge of sobrietry

I know it's never going to go away
But I can try my best to forget the pain
Always trying to keep it at bay
But always in vain

walking around in a circle
trying to learn from my mistakes
at the pace of a turtle
at night my thougts still keep me awake

I'm really not depressed
but I'm not happy either
I have this anxiety pressing at my chest
And sometimes i just need a breather

I'm constantly told to get it together
to pick up some courage and do things
But that's like telling someone not to be cold in freezing weather
And more anxiety is all that it brings

By the time
This is through,
I'll be
Far from you,
But not the memory
Of every single thing
You've done to me.
See, I won't be free.

Here's the deal
That is real
No matter what you say,
I bleed this very day.
Nothing's sealed.
I'm not healed.
I just don't talk about
The wounds anymore.

By the time
You are mad,
I'll be
Looking back
Won'dring if you're coming
After me to do to me
What you do to me.
See, I won't be free

Here's the deal
That is real
No matter what you say
I bleed this very day.
Nothing's sealed.
I'm not healed.
I just don't talk about
The wounds anymore.

By the time
You are through,
I'll be
Still trying to
Erase the scars of every single thing
You've done to me.
See, I won't be free.

Here's the deal
That is real
No matter what you say
I bleed this very day.
Nothing's sealed.
I'm not healed.
I just don't talk about
The wounds anymore.