Sick I'm ****
I mean **** I'm sick

See I didn't mean to blind you
can you put that behind you?

Ill I'm ****
I mean **** I'm ill

Now you're starting to blame me
listing all the reasons you hate me

But you're ******* sick too
I mean you're a sick **** too

There is no reason you had to do me like that

I mean do me like this
now I see my therapist

three times a week
take pills to sleep

record what I eat
stand on my own two feet

I'm getting better now
so I can be the one to take a bow

I hear them whisper just outside my door.
They say I am not likely to last another day.
I know this all too well. My fate, I have accepted.
Yet I cannot keep myself from hoping, wishing, praying
As I lay here in my bed looking out my window.

It's looking like
history books
and web pages
tell what once was
as an instructional
or, how to
for the future,
as every trend
spins on the same
blueberry,
and what once was
shall be, again.

I used to think
I might not have
the best grip on ****
because of that Cindy, and
her gaslit basement.
But my eyes are valid.
I'm not slitting throats,
I'm just taking notes
on this tragic situation.
Joker and The Fool.

I'm part of some kind
of severely ****** up system,
whether I wish it or not.
I better learn to smile.
So watch me. Here:

^_^

Everything's bound
to a simple rule.
Everything dies,
and everything is alive
with some participation.

I can't shake it from my mind.
        Why should I?

All of my ancestors made the mistakes
I can't help
       but bear repeating.

Why shouldn't I?

Grievous

I hold you as the chameleon with his spring-trigger bone
Holds his tongue
And I will catch you as a fist
I will lick the stench from your odor sacks
as a skunk

All those creepy little fragments
bugs in the system;glitched codes
they are shackled souls in a microsecond arc-length
of the universal
Prodding the dirt
and the worms
as stars

How about all the spice trees?
The many different species of food glitter
they make the buds sparkle, they are thinking of the taste
of umami, of sour, of patchwork gaze
the cooked vestibules of bone
the marrow, seeping into the stew
The pepper trees are smoked
equinoctial bonfires
You and I are yet to be cooked through


A taxi in the trader joes parking lot
Big repetitive 7's splattered across its paneling
I won't forget when i'm drunk or inebriated somehow
The tree in the center of town is lit up with LEDs
Branches curling like worms

You are Pharos, you are the great celestial beam
you are the crescent moon, thin as a sleeve
and the hot taste of batter on your breath
the way you let my Guinness cool off next to the space-heater
and give me yogurt from the local townsfolk
Everything is creamy, you said.

But i don't like to hear that
It's a steel rod into my brain, that.
I am a simple Vishnu Hare Brahma
I do not have any purpose but to be enlightened
and worshiped for my powerful odors
and a four-chambered bowel
that makes the turn easier for worms.

2

Pitiful

You are the hopeless pod
the many wildebeest, crossing their annuals
through twirling water-crocs,
Lion Prides
Leopards shifting within the brush
Bacterial infections from ***** tusks
Strange metal boxes
No 7's on this side

I want to blow the ******* skulls off of anything
that aims for you, sweet mare
45-70
Will literally send chunks of it into orbit
Lion or Turtle or window or Children
The most godly thing is a bullet
And the streams of blood that will seed a new ravine
and seep the next feed of riverrun

Will you be mine, then?

"My Yesterday is gone,
            tomorrow yet to come.
Sadness to it's demise,
             as Hope is on the rise."

Numb paper-folding feeling,
   not asleep and not awake...

My satiety's ob-vo-lution,
   all feeling for, feeling's sake.

Outside there's no revealing...
   all the chaos in my wake.

"My Yesterday is gone,
            tomorrow yet to come.
Sadness to it's demise,
             as Hope is on the rise."

"My Yesterday is gone,
            tomorrow yet to come."

"My Yesterday is gone,
            tomorrow yet to come."

Outside there's no revealing...
   all the chaos in my wake.

"My Yesterday is gone,
            tomorrow yet to come.
Sadness is on the rise,
      my Mind is in demise."

You are sick
suddenly,
it hit you
like an unexpected enemy
and that's what it is
enemy
I like that word
for describing such pain caused
Attacking you
against you
trying to take you out
Enemy

love thy enemy?
God, how can I?
How can you?
What a terror
what a horrific thing to allow
I scream
in pain
how my Dad must want to scream
but he can't
for the enemy has weakened him
he has taken many blows
infirmary
doctors
tests and more tests
answers?
cures?
none.

Why Enemy? What did he do to you?
Nothing!!
he was kind to his body
so why do you attack it so
Enemy I hate you
if hate could bury you
if it could rip you out of his body
and make you ... disappear
Then hate would **** you for sure
I have enough to eradicate your tiny growth of existence
Your tiny bits causing so much despair

Enemy, I beg of you, don't take him from me

God, fight for me, I am too weak
take over, heal, destroy this terrible little vial growth
God please, I beg on my hands and knees
I plead, don't take my Daddy from me
don't ruin my heart by taking away one of the first people to love me in this world
God please, you gave him to me as Dad,
to love me like you do.
And he did, and he does, and forever will
I need his voice, his hugs, his everlasting comforting presence,
GOD!!
i scream...