My life.
Ive been threw A lot.
Everyone has their fare share of pain delt to them.
Ive been a victim of more than one **** case.
I have seen things you should never see.
I have watched friend be murdered..
I have watched friends **** them self in front of me.
I have lived in hell.
With seeing things i wish i never saw.
I did start to become suicidal.
After a while.
I wondered why the had to go but i was still here to live a life i thought i didnt want.
I would write, and no one would read them.
I felt as if i didnt exsist.
I felt invisible.
My parents became more distant.
I had became very depressed.
I had seen a lot of people die.
It unfortunate yes.
I cried a lot.
A lot of tears had fallen.
I had been well "messed up".
I have gone threw so much pain.
I dont know how to deal with it at times.
Certain words make me start freaking out.
The way someone touches me can make me freak out insanely.
I barely trust anyone now.
The one person i trusted died june 16th.
I had held his wrist until he begged me to let go.
So i did.
It seems selfish of me to let go of him.
But i loved him way to much to see him in so much pain.
Now.
I still have the one person i'd run to,i'd cry on,i'd go to for everything.
But their still sad.
And i am trying to be happy.
Trying to act like nothing happened.
Because thats how i work..
But its hard to act happy.
If the one person that means so dearly much to you.
Is stuck in sadness.
How do you become happy?

Have you ever wondered:
Why me?

Why did this happen to me and nobody else?

Well the truth is that it probably did happen to someone else, maybe even worse than the situation that you're in

So instead of asking "Why me?"

Start asking "How me?"
"How did this happen to me?"

Because the sooner you know that
The sooner you can learn from your mistakes

all i can feel is regret
realized how much i wasted you back then
i just want to forget
everything but i'm not sure if i can

too late for that young love
but too fast for you to move on

i feel sorry for you
for not giving you the chance to have me
for not letting you love me the way you want it to be
for tearing you apart
and for breaking your heart

just found myself reading
back to our small talks
back when you were still feeling something
for me but you just suddenly walked

away, i remember your promise
that you will not have anyone until we graduate
but there really are things that matter
okay, you don't make it anyway

too late for confessions
too early for fear of rejection

i feel sorry for everything
for not giving it a try
for not saying to you what i have to
before things were ******* up
but it's too late now
now, i'm the one who's tearing apart
and breaking my own heart

it takes everything in me
to have some courage to speak to you
but you're not giving interest anymore
think my efforts are wasted

so i better know where to stand
and just accpet things the way it should be
but it hurts that i still care even if
you're not doing the same thing