Hey let's go back inside
It's midnight and it's raining
Everything I said was wrong
Please forgive me baby
I won't try and save you
I just want you to be better
Please baby come on
We're crying and it's raining

The wine is gone and we're alone
You and me and the demons
Blurry eyed I begged you why
And your silence drove me crazy
It's some sick kinda hubris
That makes me take the blame
For the burden of your sorrows
From this life and the demons

I can see you shaking
And I know it's not the cold
I'll hold and warm you anyhow
This time I'll get it right
Hard enough to **** the demons
Warm enough to say I love you
Please don't say you feel me shaking
Cuz we know it's not the cold

And even though it hurts the most to say I love you, I always will. In stolen moon light I sit writing something of hope and what could be happiness. My words are broken like my heart, my mind is cold like December. In fallen leaves I found love on an October evening in the middle of no where reading books of fairytales that never seemed to come true. I wrote Dad at the top of a paper I hoped to finish writing but, in reality I  don’t even know where to start. Where do I begin when love has no ending, where do I begin when once what was love is gone...

Black words pull,
Asking eyes scan each line;
Desiring they will win
Attention by their design.
Placed on a page,
One letter at a time.
Hoping as they age
They will more and more shine.
They are useless unless read,
Pointless till understood.
Hearts that see why words are said
Receive what is in them that is good.

when I hear the footsteps up the stairs,
I know there’s something coming.
either a lecture, a scolding or a request,
it’s hardly not these.

just sometimes when I hear these footsteps,
I wish it’d be for good.
for them to ask about my day,
or about the boy I love.

but rather it’s a list of things I do not do.
I can’t clean right, I don’t work, I haven’t any perfect grades.
so they take the time at night,
to shame me for these ways.

I want them to come upstairs,
with smiles on their face.
to praise me for the things I do do right,
and not the things I do wrong.

when you look beyond busyness
what is it that you see?
a world endlessly searching
for what it was meant to be?
a mankind desperately looking
for the answer to its ache,
striving to achieve
some sort of break
from its broken heart
of pain and agony,
hoping to fix this
crippled reality?
when I look beyond busyness
I know what I see
a world waiting for God's return
when he destroys the enemy
a world waiting for the story to turn
to the part where Earth is set free

I wanted so badly for it to feel like home. But it just didnt to me. Not at the time. And you cant force those things. I dont think so. Its like wanting to be in love with someone so bad. Its like loving the situation and how they treat you but just not being able to bring yourself to love them in the way that they love you. And it ******* *****. And it makes you feel terrible. Like a terrible person that doesnt deserve this goodness. That doesnt deserve for it to make sense and so it doesnt. But i guess thats just the way it goes some times. Thats life. And sometimes, it doesnt make any sense. But thats okay. Thats just the way it is.

Its okay

I long to be
Something
To someone
And a nobody
To no-one
But often
The story
Seems to
Cut me
From everyone
And I ache
Alone
Hoping
I will be
Something
To someone

People trying to find
themselves in a lost mankind.

Grasping for money and fame,
not knowing what is the aim.

Hoping for a day
when worries will be washed away.

While Jesus knocks on our door,
waiting to heal our world at war.

i’ve beaten down and broken
into a million pieces
now i’m here alone
with no cure for my diseases

they’re eating me alive
cell by cell
they’ve forced me to do things
i refuse to tell

now i sit here alone
broken and lost
i’m still feeding my insecurities
when i know the cost

eventually i’ll be gone
nothing but pain
it keeps me awake at night
coursing through my veins

there’s so many scars
i can’t count them all
i’m patiently waiting
for my one last fall

my diseases are incurable
i’ve given up hope
there’s not much of me left
i’m searching for a rope

to end my pain
to end my sorrow
i’m hoping for
a better tomorrow