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You are the sunshine that lingers in my room when I feel so dark and lonely. You peek through my curtains blinding me with idea that I can get out of bed and nestle in blooming flowers and sprouting trees. Spring is coming you whisper to me but my mind is foggy, filled with thoughts of losing my self and trying to find myself again. You are the bird that chirps outside my window reminding me of the new day and the sunshine you are soon to bring in. You were the light of my life until you left leaving me lonely with little bird song to be sung and little sunshine to be felt.
Love lost
Elizabeth Jan 28
And I felt like running, running so far I lost sight of everyone in my life or soon to be. I couldn’t find anywhere to go, every place so full of memories, every place so full of the depression lingering in my life in moments where I should have been happy or something along those lines. I never knew a happiness where I didn’t feel a sadness along with it too. I sat on the roof only pondering what it meant to be alive. I was told there was a difference between living and being alive but does living mean sunsets and cherry trees? Or happiness on clouds of sunshine? I didn’t know. I didn’t know what it meant to want to get out of bed every morning or ride bicycles through summers filled with faint memorys of people no longer in my life. I wanted to live but I didn’t want to be alive...
What is living?
Elizabeth Jan 19
And I hated myself for missing you. I hated the way the bottle of pills whispered your name reminding me of the time we climbed steep mountains and dove deep in Great Lakes. The pills stroked your gentle brown hair as the tears flooded my face with an overbearing sense of doubt but also forgiveness. How could I miss you? But the pills told me the answer to that one too, they reminded me of your deep blue eyes that looked as though not a single rock lay beneath the ocean- so pure. The pills sang the songs we sang just a little off key and laughed at the jokes only we knew. They told me of the memories I would never forget when I stepped into the woods where our names were carved in that tree. They never let me forget all the time we spent together or the places we once knew...
I miss him
Elizabeth Jan 3
This time his two am text wasn’t of something about evolution or the places we would see for it told me that maybe we just weren’t meant to be. I weeped upon pillows you once slept on- on nights too cold and long to even remember. Everything we went through washed back to
Me even the time when I cried in your open arms as you caressed my cheek. I remembered what it felt like to be the most awake I’d been at three am still talking to you about the things we would do when we were old, about the people we would meet, and all the lakes we had not swam. There was something about you that kept me going and made me realize that it was okay to be me...
He left me and I’m broken
Elizabeth Jan 1
And on that cold but sunny day I laid amongst the strangers that rested upon my bed like we’d been friends or something close to that. They whispered to me with evil intentions hoping to knock me down farther than I’d already been, hoping to scare me into the storm that followed. I told myself it would be better and I told myself it couldn’t get worse. I told myself about the horses and the bees and all the flowers to bloom in early spring. I reminded myself of the tea and honey that my mother poured with soft breaths and open arms. I dreamt about the boy and the tree and the magical star trips during the hours that no one knew. Something about the leaves and the dog who barked with excitement whenever he saw me gave me a hope or two. I knew it could only get better for the sun had risen today and not because it was told so but because someone wished I could live another day.
Someone dreamt that I’d rise again
  Dec 2018 Elizabeth
I remember the evening
that we sat clinging
to paper cups
of coffee gone cold

over secrets spilled and memories told
two bodies cursed
with hearts grown old

behind your eyes
I found new worlds
A winding road stretched out for miles
to a small cafe at the end of the isle

Sweet pastries filled the mouths
of those who sat beside us
and stayed for a while.

How the hours went by,
people just passing through
The descending sun ending
a forever with you.
Elizabeth Dec 2018
It was December 2, and the sun fell early on that cold, dark, night. The kitten purred at my door and the soft meow sounded as though the snow was slowly flowing beneath my bare feet. Outside I sat waiting for something to come from the stars, maybe a shooting star or a beam of light calling me to the darkness that was soon to come after the stars finished their game of hide and seek. I sat playing hide and seek with my thoughts, hiding all the feelings I once felt from his warm touch as the weather grew colder in late November. I was ridden to my bed, in sullen darkness where nothing but a porch light peaked through my stained curtains. I was stuck playing hide and seek where no one ever found me hiding beneath my bed, away from all the demons and monsters that called me into the night.
Beneath my bed I lay
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