i want to empty my brain
free myself of never ending pain, the weight of these chains
i want to drive in the rain, never see the east coast again
wishing all this needless suffering could be forgotten
but is my past truly the root of why I feel so rotten?
is retaliation against these feelings of meaninglessness ever going to lift the curse?
any grandeur is a fantasy it's true I'm delusional. the cycling is endless, of this i am sure.
how can i reverse the sinking thinking that takes me so low my only answer is drinking?
making goals, feeling love, pulls me out from these holes I've dug.
my impatience is unsatisfied when i am reminded (as i always am) enlightenment and contentment take time

There ain't nothing like them,
is there?
A gentle reminder that
I have survived
the cold and gloom
for one more
year.

Even when I unravel,
hope still hangs on by a
t
  h
      r
          e
              a
                   d

In endearing silence,
Exists the stillness of black and white,
The painter holds the palette against their chest,
And their heartbeat colours in the pigments,
As their brush strokes the canvas,
Droplets of light begin to surround you,
Like floating fireflies, or stars on earth,
And in your eyes, colour blooms,
You sit, framed, in black and white,
But the smile you wear when you stare at wonder,
Brings your colours back to life,
The painter captures a portrait,
Made from the paper of destiny,
A picture of you finding yourself,
As the silence waves goodbye,
Leaving behind echoes of your hopeful laugh.

A subject
I've never been good at
it's a 
subject
often spoken 
about. 

What did I learn?
you say.
Not so sure
I add.

What I found
was subtracted and
what was lost
Unexpected.