I, Amanda Kay Burke, on this day (April 5th, 2019), declare myself to all of you.

I declare no belief in what we refer to as "God."

I don't own enough luck to find four-leaf clovers.

I love those rare moments in time when bliss lays its roots so deep in my mind I become one of those people who cannot stop smiling.

Waking in time to catch the sunrise.

I love catching frogs too.
Yet I suspect I enjoy releasing them even more.

I love watching the rain crash down from above
Like tears from aliens we'll never encounter
On a distant moon in my skull
Or some astrophysical realm I saw in a dream.

I love bleeding
It reminds me I am actually still a breathing human being
I hate the pain as much as any undomesticated animal does though

I love sweets.
Maybe because I am sour like vinegar.
How I long to instead be cake, honey, or even peach-like in nature.
I want to be caramel melting into buttery rich folds
For a day or perhaps two at most.

I love surprises.

I declare I love showers.
They make me feel okay.i

I love my family.
I love my friends.

I love being the reason someone laughs

Love the freckle on the end of my nose.

The shape of my fingernails.

I love that my limbs all work the way they were designed.
That I have ten fingers, two eyes, and one heart.

I love that I only have the best intentions.
It makes up for the ideas I try that fail.

I declare I hate running
Or any exercise really..

I shrug off those who believe they know me when they don't.

Not a fan of classical music

Or boys who treat love like a joke.

I despise the white shreds of paper leftover when you rip pages out of a notebook.

I hate cigarettes, but you can vape around me.

I hate my completely pathetic lack of willpower.

I hate how the most trivial things make me angry.

I declare my hatred towards rising stress.

Hate how I cry over geometry.

I hate my nose, teeth, and thighs.

In each and every last form
I hate all types of goodbyes.

I hate my voice when I complain a tad too much.

How unathletic and clumsy I am.

I hate how I can keep everyone else's secrets
Not my own

When I can't grasp concepts the rest of the room understands.

I declare I'm quite surprised to learn
Not all creatures are as shallow as I presume.

I was not expecting my junior year to be like this.
People I grew up with aren't there anymore.

I'm frightened I'll be torn apart by society.

I am terrified by spiders
But I think their webs are beautiful.

I love food
But hate how it makes me feel.

I'm unsure of where life will take me
I have a feeling that's part of the deal.

I declare sometimes I am a hypocrite.
A good actress but a ****** liar.

Wear my heart on my sleeve.

To be perfectly honest
When it comes to sad films
I'm a big emotional cried.

I am human.
I have plenty of flaws.
The worst at moving on and letting go.

Every ordeal I've been through on this Earth had made me strong.

If there's one thing life has taught me
It is to take it day by day and go with the flow.

I've had all day to work.
Yet I procrastinate until the next–

Until 3:30am.

At 3:30 I'm so exhausted,
I don't even feel alive anymore.

It feels unreal.

A dream.

I haven't eaten for seven hours.
I fear that going to the kitchen to fill myself
Will awaken the family

Out of their gentle sleep,
And into my reality:
Hell.

My task gives me so much anxiety.
Fear.
It's dreadful.
Unbearable.

I put it off.
Until 3:30am.
I don't think about it.
I rid it from my mind.
Until 3:30 am.