failing to see my mistakes
is holding you against my back
we are memoirs with curved edges
we are hollow when we speak

my reflection is clear
and concise with words i dread
like the afternoon
we forgot how to hold each other
we were broken pieces
in jars of clay
ready to unfold
our unkept promises
to be broken down again

i have not thought of loving
for weeks i run passed
my days
an endless train
of emotionless
tattered thoughts

i am ready
to be filled again
and down goes my desires

i am more than seeking the feeling
of having a hand to hold
reaching for somebody close,
or pass the time with
another entity, another soul
to play disguise with

i am at the gates
and i am holding them open
with my cold, bare hands.

dissonance roams within my body
breaking apart my soul
leaving me hollow
leaving me cold

a storm breaks

I am Mist floating in the netherworld
The shadow of my heart haunts my memories.

A transparent soul lacking substance
Wafting in the tides of my turbulent mind.

The hollow shell of my body
Tosses and tumbles about in a whirlwind.

The reality of my dream life
Fades into the obscurity of annihilation.

If there's a human contact or touch
That's how it will go...

"I am hollow inside
I meet you on the network
I feed you some lies
I force you to swallow
I let you know - we're taking it slow
& when I get bored - I ask you to go
As if nothing happened”

Only if you try to see
It is as simple as it is
You are my temporary distraction
You can't fill in the vacancy
& your greatest flaw, oh Elliot?
It's just that you are beautiful
& I don't know - who I am anymore

"Everyone is an idiot
Everyone is so cool
My dear Elliot, what did you do?
Don't you see, they're all struggling
But they hide it better than you
My beautiful Elliot, what did you do?"

There are so many people
but who wants to talk?
When I'm confused I go on long walks to nowhere, I get lost in alleys
& when the night wraps it's starry
Blanket around me - I cease to feel
What is so beautiful that I cannot see
As if somebody stole all the stars from my eyes and
Replaced them with buttons
you & me - I cannot see

In a empty bath tub,
       I washed you forever away...

The plug hanging silent,
       As tears collapsed downward...

A hollow basin awash with regrets,
      cradled within a vacant space.

I dropped my jagged reflection,
                 not letting it cut into me..

The only thing scaring this emptiness
                 are my tears, as I walk out stronger...

My heart
crackles
with an indecipherable
something
which gives it
shape,
yet seems to simultaneously,
parasitically
siphon
all
joy
and
will
from within it.

Maybe it's just
my heart
masquerading,
pretending substance
to cover up the overwhelming
nothing.

After all, nature abhors a vacuum.

A deep resonating eerie hum
that shakes you to the core
And fades away, here today
You cannot find a cure

You waste away; like a shade
trying to do, nothing, not really anything
You stay the same, waiting to fade
You try, but you can't do everything

You're hollow inside
Nothing but a shell
I know that you,
you can't tell

I'm hollow inside,
filled and cloaked with shadow
I know deep in my mind
I wouldn't want it any other way

I can't really think now
the thoughts begin to blur
my mind begins to hollow out
until nothing's left there any more.