i knew that something was going to happen
because i could hear the bees swarming and
buzzing inside the hollow place in your chest
(which only you believed to be hollow)
there was a restless energy about you last august
you could see it and smell it and hear it
i even tasted it in that vegan pizza you made for us
i felt a push coming, and i was hoping that it
would finally move the negative thoughts and
feelings that clung to you like a shrouded mist
but it was me that you pushed away in the end,
with the might that you'd been building up for years
it was me, and i wish i'd realized that before
i gave whatever was left of me to you
praying that it would somehow be like a rope
you could grab on to, so i could save you from
the pit of your despair
but you never wanted saving
and you never told me that

A knife swims in the eery air
bursting down
smearing the few fawn
crooked'em crotales
springing drops of meltdown sun
God hollows
and shadow balloting follows

After suppressing pain and keeping tears at bay over a million times, you learn how to lean towards numbness all because being hollow is ultimately better than overflowing with mayhem.

At first, you try to convince yourself you’re numb. In the long run, you’d no longer be a novice in this game. You’d learn to walk amidst the flames.

But darling, this isn’t strength; this is me coping, lonesome and alone.

Darling, this isn’t strength; this is ignorance well-meant, this is appearing whole when deep inside I'm disintegrating, this is me trying not to fall apart in your presence because I don’t know if you’d have the guts, or the conscience, to pick broken pieces up knowing that the shards could very well hurt you too.

Darling, this isn’t strength, so don’t put your faith in an empty cause. Spare yourself and say goodbye, and I’d give you my last farewell.

I’d rather we make amends before we part ways rather than just breaking away without breaking even.

my heart races when i see you
my thoughts become a tornado
destroying any good that stands in its way
my body trembles and my hands shake
i lose all control at the idea that i might look into your eyes again
my stomach panics and turns itself into a knot
a knot that you created when you tried to turn my world upside down
why does my body get weak in your presence
why do you have this hold on my soul
i make all efforts to pry your hands off and away yet
they always find a way back to my insides
i am a spare tire, used once and left on the track
no longer a part of that bigger picture
you left me useless now
standing in the middle of your racetrack

We are pretty pictures
             under hollow frames.

Never realizing that which
                          holds us together.

Is just as important than
                                what people see,
when were momentarily observed.

I’d look upon the hollow sky
Watching the birds fly by
Feeling like a lone wolf on a crowded street
dreaming of the traveler’s breeze
Letting the heat touch my covered skin
With all my mind sunk in the blue sea
I’ll be somewhere the birds would be
When winter strikes my hollowed heart
I’ll find places with dreamers like me
Looking upon the hallow sky
Drowning in crowded places
Made for people with hopeless dreams
And I’ll walk through the rain
Ripping through the man made seams
And find my place  in the hallow sky
Where I could fly in a traveler’s dream
Alone no more, just being me.