I want so badly to feel
not just know
the life living within me.

Cells of my heart,
what makes you stay
and stick
and love
in such efficient harmony?
What are the series of
coincidences
constructed into miracles
by some invisible hand
to let you be?
What are you, how are you?
To drop and fall into one -
pulse-
compelling me, luring me
to breathe, breathe
even under the anaesthetic of sleep.

I crave to know
how my body cups my soul
in a mirrored glass and not
a casket
or cage, if I wish.

And why the soul cries
even so,
so

I speak
to the ever and ever lying beyond the sky.
I ask

Please?

Dreams break and lines break
but don't let
my heart break

into me.
It is living.

And I don't yet know
what that means.

Amidst a melancholy darkness, all is silent, all is still. Mimicking the nature of my soul at this precise instant...

A river flows within me dancing to the beat of a lonesome drum, waltzing me into a million realms of true disbelief where my thoughts linger eternally. I play the role of a mere onlooker to the sheer terror that ensues within the darkest chasms of my imagination...

Despite the sonnet of insanity playing alongside my unconsciousness, a drum still calls, a sweet psithurism flows through the branches of memory and a serpentine red river continues to flow mortally like clockwork...

Salty drops of rain embrace the names engraved in stone as beautifully decorated couples dance atop their ancient beds.

You see, their rivers stopped flowing at the final beat of their fateful drums, imprisoning them to a non-existent world where memories are no longer created. For now, they're dancing; while they await the final judgement.

A holy holy flash of light strikes the center of my still pounding drum, all the wine has been drunk and the last cigarette smoked, rivers are a flowin'. I awaken breathless, to an empty, white chamber. I know I am home. Without a pulse.

-Garth Lebowski

Painkillers intended to numb the pain
But they numb the heart from beating.

Administered to the ill and injured
Resulting in worse illness or injury.

An injury to the heart beat
To the collapsing lungs,
The vital components of life.

Without the medications,
The symptoms return
Full-fledged.

But with them, the ability
To function normally
Is absent.

The question at hand is
Whether it is better to suffer
From pain or numbness.

the sunset was stunning
just like you
the constant clickity clack of the train wheels on the tracks
remind me of the beat of your heart
everywhere i go
has bits and pieces of you
a trail of clues
for me to put together
until the sun has set
the clickity clack of the wheels has silenced
and i step into the night
and am blinded by the most beautiful light
you

Why is your heart so restless?
It beats hard beneath my fingers
Is this for the best?
In the air your question lingers
I should say yes
But I do not know
The words won´t leave my lips
While your heart keeps beating on
Underneath my fingertips

You look me in the eyes
and say you wish
It didn´t have to be like this
I reply with a kiss
We never were good at goodbyes
We move apart with care
I can hear your heart from over here
We are no good
Not together or apart
Hopelessness in the air
of love so misunderstood
The beating of your heart
Echoes were you stood