Rewind two years to the time that we met. You always use to tell me that was a day you would never forget. Now I'm sitting here waiting for you to answer my texts. But I got back burner status when I became just an ex. We went from best friends to strangers in just one day.. I keep begging you to come back, but you keep drifting away. And it's not okay. I'm not okay. I remember taking pictures like it was just yesterday. And you said you would stay. So please tell me why you're not here babe. Sorry that's wrong of me to call you. It's just habit I guess. Who would of known loves like a bullet to the chest. But you're already talking about how you're on to the next? And how you love her, and you need her, and she don't make you stress. But you know you only want whats under her dress. Cause nothing can replace the kind of love we had. And I know deep in your soul this is driving you mad. So please come back. Just please, come back.

Sometimes
she was a feast
causing sin
to the eyes of many
The other times
she was a beast
an aesthetic ruin
laboring for a penny.

the bones were hard to give up,
they pushed out like daisies
caressed under the hounding
heart of a copper sun.
unbridled and undried they bore
zealous arrogance of themselves,
petals dripping ****** convictions
and vibrating like awful angels.

under cruel devices they tried to
soften my bones and mold thick skull
constructed of lackluster candles
on their last flame.
days passed like doctors and white nurses
examining old wires that pray tell
the routines, the stools, the teeth.
i am their Jesus, their Lazarus.

my hearse, my sheep keeper,
my pretty things,
i become the acrobat at the
finale, the last supper,
supplementing at the **** of my
recovery. i lay my skin down for all
of you to see:  here is my breast!
my toad belly!  my glass feet!

By Arcassin Burnham


Thunder , lightning, set your sighting,
Run fast when it gets tough,
Hardships come and hardships go,
But life will always aim to grow,
Patience thin, so paper thin,
As thin as the right arm of trust,
Innie , minnie , dollar to a penny,
Hope minimum wage turns to rust,
Too much love , and less of love,
Can always be a disaster,
****** tension , back door play,
Not as easy as opening a box,
Speak some peace , and not some war,
Don't ever serve the masters,
Curse and spells , tooth decays,
Be as smooth as the nine tail fox.

If purpose is purposeful , where is mine?
Harder to work hard while in the blind,
Feds are patrolling up and down our streets,
Like being black could be killing time,
I just wanna move through life with some
perfect paces,
Standing up for my standing ovation,
Keep focused on my main occupation,
Everything is always set for a stage,
Forget all the past situations,
Gaining a brand new reputation,
I just hope that we are all on the same page,
This generation been failed , there ain't no more room to be saved,
Remember your own name.
Run to the light.

You course through my veins and meet my head in disharmony.   Uninvited but tolerated . No longer reviled,   I speak to you from rehearsed scripts til you linger no more.

When I was younger
My mother told me
"Some get it hard
Some get it easy."

My father would say
"Do not back off
Try until you must
And never stop."

As I grew older
I realised my mother was right
I was the one who got it hard
The one who was conflicted despite

My God, my Dear God
How many times do I have to fall
Lose my faith a billion times
And come back yet feeling so small?

Each day I fought a battle
Sometimes with my mind
Sometimes with my heart

Why do I, the most vulnerable
Feel like the whole weight
Is always on my feeble shoulder?

My brain is a wreck
My soul is an empty apartment
I must tell you
It does not feel good to be on this side of the door

You see -on this side of the door
I am never okay
But how must you see me as the weakest –
When you can't see what happens here

When I close the doors
I can finally be myself
The one with that heavy burden on a weak heart
Calming it down, I play my part
"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."


#But it's not okay..#

The wind blows slowly as we face new trials,
slowly it wanders into our minds,
sometimes it goes beyond our hearts,
moments that are realized to be harsh words kept inside.

shaking, i'm shaking, i'm told.
like i can stop it somehow
one second i'm in class
the next
i'm on a stretcher
being asked by my principal
if i'm alright?
seizing, you're seizing, you're having a seizure
i'm told as i
puzzle together my surroundings
and as i do i begin to cry
why me? i ask
what did i do to deserve this?
even now, my memories of that day have been tampered
as if some omnipotent force doesn't want me to remember
the horrors of that day.
my friends tell me i walked out of class
no explanation as to why
maybe i thought it looked nice outside
the white clouds painted across the cool ocean sky

the doctors tell me my nerves are misfiring
but so are the thoughts in my head
for whatever reason i end up again
in some unknown hospital bed.
i close my eyes and count to ten
hoping for this to all just end,
but the stress disagrees with me
and leaves my weak head penned.

the last time it happened was in the bleak december
when the skies were gray with the sun's last ember
i am scared of the odds i won't make it to september
because of some unfair episode i can't even remember

Thursday, April 19th
forever imprinted on my inaccurate brain
the day my grandfather died.
the day my mother was diagnosed with cancer.
the day my life changed forever

people say high school was
the greatest four years of their life
that i should cherish and remember forever
for i will never be able to grab a hold of time
and wish to be back
but how should i remember high school
when memories are being deleted
in my brain's system files
and the only memories i have
are of my family falling apart;
my tears' perpetual flowing down my soggy cheeks?

my friends tell me i'm not alone in this,
but how could i be anything else.
they don't know how i feel,
they joke about it now like it's okay
watch out, they say,
don't have a seizure about it, they joke
by now my eyes are hoover dams
damming the tears from
showing the outside world
my true feelings.

and now i conclude,
as i am no longer in the mood
to sit here in deep introspection
because after all, everyone has imperfections
mine are just more unique.