Wrapped in silk and satin
she has been waiting
long.
She doesn't expect him
not anymore, but habit
stays.
She nor grins,nor frowns
standing at the end of her lawn
alone.
The day count lost numbers,
lost many days and slumber
hours.
Hope faded, love went,
only she stayed
so far.

It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

"Sonnets From a Conversation With a Friend XXVII "

Voluntary        imagination at
Work      hard sculpting reasoned movements
Fromout conditioned reflexed brain twitches
Happening right before our very eyes
We excrete whys that prove us right no matter
What no matter what the i sees i as i has
To see i to be the i approved of
Ninety percent habit don't fit the worn
Image      ninety percent habit not seen !!!
Astonishingly the rotting elephant
Carcass is overlooked      isn't there      dropped
Through the hole in the universe in mind
Psychically taking consciousness with it
Leaving us with mystic questions hard pressed

"You've Got"

You've got personality
Quick! spit it out! its a piece of
Assiduous construction most randomly evolved
For most of us the winds
Society and family billow the i
Flapping noise we think is voluntary
Why else do we do it? AVALANCHE!!!
Answers pouring down from heaven
Pelting like hail stones
Not one word valid
Unless you grabbed scrutinized
Swallowed processed absorbed
Into the constellation house
Burning forever circle burn forever
Till cause effect unborn no this no that
All coming together will cease

it’s as if
loving you
has become
a habit

I am addicted, I must confess
Lately I've been a distracted mess,
I'm not myself, acting mad,
You are the fix I need bad.

Have cravings in my head
For your presence in bed,
I try to stop them, instead they grow,
Prancing around my mind to and fro.

Falling hard, I isolate,
Care too much so I fixate,
Loved ones think I am depressed,
**** their opinions, I am obsessed.

Bad choices, on another binge,
Melted love fills the syringe,
Tie off arm, find a vein,
Wince as I feel usual pain.

Anticipation comes in a flood,
Viewing the needle awash with blood,
Calm, I slowly push it in,
Quickly remove the point from my skin.

It does the trick, I wait to feel
A high so good it is almost unreal,
The way I go crazy around you
Has me confused; dizzy too.

The rush I get when you get close,
Has me begging for my next dose,
Love is worth the pain that follows,
Empty sickness as your gut hollows.

Desperate to see your face,
Affection is the drug I chase,
My whole world revolves around your touch,
It's unhealthy, you are now my crutch.

It is harmful yet I still ingest,
What fills the heart inside my chest,
This well-known poison I speak of
Is a wonderful substance called love.

It can make you lose a big part
Of yourself, even your heart,
Changes you into someone new,
An unrecognizable statue.

Careful, it's strong enough to ****,
More addictive than any pill,
I'm high off love, need your heart,
Strung out, wishing I could restart.

If I could go back i would,
Turn around before you could,
Poison me with medicine,
"Just say no" before love could begin.

It's way too late for me to quit,
I am controlled by my habit,
Sinking deeper into your abyss,
All I am: a fiend for your kiss.

Twenty-one days,
They say,
Only twenty-one days
Til a new habit
Has a face ;
Kicking the one out
They wish to replace.

I can and I will,
I have
Worn change
As a second skin.

Twenty-one days,
They say,
Rather a lifetime,
If I may.

For true smokers hate quitting
Who are we kidding –
No switch for a cigarette lit ;

A new regime
To be a little more fit,
Ending cravings that will never leave

With alternatives.

We persevere.
Like an alcoholic giving up the bottle ;
Not taking a drink will always be a battle.

Twenty-one days,
They say,
Forever, if I may.

I love my bad habits ;
Glory is in continuing

(to quit).