I look back on the way my heart jumped
The way he made my love filled blood pump
And I fail to understand
I do not know how I loved everything so small, even holding his hand
How can love just come and go?
When he stopped loving me, how did I not know?
His eyes must have sparkled at the idea of leaving me
My absence was the reason he smiled gladly
I never looked for the signs of this
I was the definition of ignorance is bliss
My heart knew all along
But my brain was saying it had to be wrong
When they say trust your gut they never say which one

Needles
piercing
my inner thigh

a nausea wave
in my belly

a hundred bottomless pits
in my gut

the dense gap
between my soul
and body

Breathe!
I tell my self
Just breathe

My heart split open
and bled
The sky turned
lead
Your words
tread
through my gut
coiled around my belly
Until
I stopped breathing

People say
That you’ll just know
What you want
You will have a gut feeling
A vision
An intuition.

And I do have a gut feeling
I feel like I have been punched in the gut.

every day
They do happen
All around us
Do you want to see miracles?
Open our eyes  
To the rainbow colors of  Light
Creating playful rhymes
Pros and songs
With joyful gratitude
Set your heart free to Love
As the sun shines
as songs of birds filling the air.
As pebbles of sand
Without number.
Miracles are.　
(now read the lines from the bottom up).

Fire sparks along the walls of my gut.
Smoke pours from mouth—the cries I tried to release, gone.
Lies lies lies lies and excuses,
there’s a burning in my stomach.
I feel words wither on my tongue
As yours overpower and overwhelm.
Questions asked
About every word.
I’ll set it on fire
I’ll set it all on fire.
Coals to your wisdom,
Embers to your truth.
I’ll set it on fire.
Stop asking me
And doubting me
And lying.
I’ll set it all on fire.

You break your own heart
Everytime you don’t listen
to your gut and soul

Like rocks in my stomach,
Pulling me down,
I feel such guilt,
But I don't know how.

I do this accidentally,
Every single time,
I always type so hastily.
What is wrong with my mind?

When your mood changes,
I feel so weak.
I know its my fault,
And I almost wish to weep.

I never want to make you hurt,
But I worry that I do,
I wish that I was there,
So I could show that I cared for you.

And every time you end up sad or mad,
Or somewhere in between,
I get so nervous that its over,
Lost for eternity.

I don't know how to apologize,
Other than to say I'm sorry,
But I know its not enough,
You deserve more.

I wish I could give you more.