My heart
Feels like a frostbitten cave nobody should ever go in.
My soul
Feels exhausted, drained and spread really thin.
My mind
Feels like its fighting battles it can never win.

I find my thoughts
Consumed with anger and despair,
Evil feelings who have created a lair –
A base of operations within my mind,
Staring at the world with a terrifying glare.

And yet, despite all this,
Nothing kills me more than being alone.
This need to experience humanity
Is not simply an act of vanity,
Or a call for attention,
But an attempt at reclaiming sanity.

We are the loneliest generation of all time;
Previous overlords used force to rule,
And whoever didn’t follow was lambasted,
Marked as a traitor and a base fool.
Now, force is merely a tool,
One in many of a lethal arsenal.

Social hierarchies are fake, sometimes downright farcical –
Now, we are divided and conquered.
Our communities have collided,
Our love for each other is drained and flustered.
We are armed with shields of prejudice,
Careening towards a perilous precipice
Of watching out only for ourselves,
With no room in our hearts for anyone else.

I just wish I could let go –
I wish I was an atom of boiling water,
About to break free and become steam,
I wish to taste of true freedom,
To at least get one, tiny gleam.
Yet,
I find myself weary, tired and trapped,
A torturous routine so well-travelled
That, at this point, I could say my brain has it mapped.

I close my eyes
And see visions of you I wish I could forget.
I wish I’d looked before I leapt,
Rather than live with this pain and regret.
I close my eyes, and see
Years of seeking somewhere I belong,
Brothers and sisters with whom I can stand strong.
Yet,
All I seem to find
Is people struggling with their daily grind,
Souls that are just as tired as mine, if not more.

And so, I find myself
Dealing with this constant craving,
Ranting and raving,
Hoping that this frosty cave is still open to reclaiming,
Hoping that my soul is still worth saving,
And that my mind still finds this battlefield worth braving.

I told you back then what it would be like
but you never really believed me,
by ignoring our love's demanding hike
instead you just tried to deceive me.

I gave you everything you asked of me
and all that I could give was given,
but our love was blind it just didn't see
on that road ahead it was driven.

We tried to make amends along the way
and continued living together,
but our love's seeking of us every day
was heading towards stormy weather.

We were exhausted with ourselves it seemed
and became distanced from each other,
we would soon get to know what our love deemed
when starting to look for another.

We then drifted apart to seek elsewhere
and went our separate ways in life,
wondering who else our love would forswear
to find fulfilment as man and wife.

It would not be again for a long time
that our lives crossed paths in a strange way,
perhaps it was the right season or clime
when we saw each other on that day.

We smiled and greeted then informally
asking each other how we had been,
and how there of all places came to be
that place we had each other last seen.

It was in love forlorn two hearts were bare
and placed inextricably apart there.
______

Allegedly white, so clear and clean
Anointed space allotted for a sense of place
Answers the questions-what, to whom and when
Absolutely no spot, couldn't stop those painter's pen full of grace
Beautifully colored by their rational brush* 
Bravery and angst may both consist out of that abstract
Bitterness-inspirational expressions might include to make some blash
Better viewing too once the master piece is being construct
Captivating such attention
Culturally trades tradition
Cultivating mixed emotion
Centrally concealed attraction
attitude Behavior character
has now
a Bridge connection
created by art
or should i say?
" art By creation " on and off
a Blank canvas !**

© solEmn oaSis
#shapeofapparition
my tribute to all
the poets and writers
here and outside
  @ Hello Poetry