Can you miss something you never had?

You can only miss something if you had it because

If you never felt how it was to have it and then proceed to like it,

Is it even possible to miss it?

Can you miss something you never felt?

I feel a sense of adhuri

Why do I not feel complete?

I’m missing something

Preachers in another storm

‘STAY’ whispers Mother

Followed by another joint

hands are met

and with him I crash


My bloodstained shadow

running

thrashed onto the walls


Cray-Cray Calling

Dos Tres – Another! Better!

Quatro Cinco – What a disaster!


T’was never my intention

But I succeed at my own failures

for there has always been a reward after my tormented failure.

-

But You can’t say I left you empty handed

you can’t say I didn’t offer you all I had

I just left

for I found better.


I know – What a ***!

Alone? No

Lonely? Absolutely

For when she wishes to find him, he is out saving someone else

Just like he did her

It;s not that she’s special,

It's just that he’s too good

It's not his heart that wanted to save her

It's his will to always do good that did

So, again, she must turn away

Or else she will get lost

Lost in his constant will to do good, for everyone

Not just her, like she first thought

Maybe in hindsight, being lonely, yet found *****

But being lost is worse…. Way worse

So with that she turns away, back to the misery of being found, yet alone

Walking away from him, knowing that he won’t miss her anyway

Writing.
It will reveal
Things you already knew,
Like the scars you see on your skin.
Lost, Found.

expressionless and with a stare that seemed alien
the driftwood form floated and tossed in the violent sea
not knowing where IT had been or where IT would finish
tossing and turning, relying on the forces of nature for guidance
direction towards land is more then IT could hope for
soon the chaos and turmoil of the sea stopped
was IT on sand or still drifting out there in the void
IT seemed to be motionless when a blurred image appeared
not being able to recognize what IT was
not understanding ITs newfound sensations
not realizing IT was using a sense of sight
was there more to this image that understanding would support
what is this occurrence
is this simple, is this another new unknown excitement
is this even genuine
soon, IT appeared to be lifting up, being held quite gently by something
or someone
IT was suddenly and abruptly raised up and all ITs new sensations ceased
what was this, what was ITs final feeling
IT had been found...!

Brian Hill - 2020 # 106

When I was a kid,
I used to believe
life's a beautiful thing.
then I realized, it was too hard to me.

I believed in lies,
I remember that life's a full of surprise.
My life turned upside down
and I'm nowhere to be found.

In the middle of the night,
when everything's not right.
Wanting this to be over
because I can't stay like this forever.

Craving for love,
as I thought it was enough.
I'm still wanting for more
and I don't know what I'm looking for

In the sea of different places,
in a world of blurry faces,
at the edge of insanity
I found myself.

I found something more,
It's actually me that I'm looking for
but I'm still trying,
still trying to find my way

I long for a feeling that I belong; that I am home.

I want to be a young boy, amidst the sounds of Rome.

I long to be in a crowded cafe, enjoying the morning wind.

I want to put my feet in ancient sand; my soul feeling thinned.



I feel so tired of being tired, like any moment I'll fall.

I am a young boy, scared of the dark and running down a hall.

I sit in my bed, closing the curtains and sighing alone.

I am dragging myself to the bathroom, wishing my body felt like my own.



I long to be a small child, unable to understand.

I wish everything was colorful again, instead of so bland.

I long to watch the sunsets and breathe in life with purity.

I wish I was being held by warm hands; that feeling of security.



I feel like someone set me on fire; I sit ablaze.

I am a jumbled pile of thoughts, lost in a daze

I stand on two feathers, sinking into a pool of thoughts.

I am no longer interested in the world; I am tied in knots.