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Flynn Feb 14
You slid into my life,
easy as a knife through butter.
not like margarine,
of that I'm less keen
hanging out with you... ****** Nora
it's as easy as flowers via inter-Flora

You butter believe I'm here to stay

we're about half-way
and by this point, I'm sure you'll say
you wrote me a poem,
but I can't believe its not butter.
so come on Flynn...
Lurpak it in.
For the spirit of Valentine's, and the love of butter
Flynn Sep 2020
En point across eggshells
I tiptoe terrified around the point
Tireless trying to despatch any drama
I slip as I dance, Audible cracks

It’s been like this for a while now
Heart palpations, perpetually on edge
Panic attacks more frequent
Wait... they’re entirely new

Careful attempts to communicate
How I feel, frightened for firing the kiln
What will it be this time?
Interruption of calm converse circadian

Gaslighting? Guilt-Tripping?
Derailing? Tone-policing?
“I don’t deserve to be spoken to that way”
You say, as I crumble

Endless excuses and appalling accusations
You revolting repertoire maims me
Standing shattered, ******* fractured
fragmented as the eggshell environment I navigate

suspicious of my soul, I ponder the point
I take medication now, dose has doubled
The months you spent convincing me
a counsellor captioned me manipulative

Lies. Ladles of lies.
Thank god I know now
I had a plan in place
A time and space...

Delicately detailing
Now with unsullied sharpness
From alpha to omega
My swan song
Flynn Sep 2020
Dark dances in my head
Occupying my occiput
Visual representations
My worst fears realised

It won’t get off
I know what it wants
Dancing indelicately
I can barely breathe

It’s lips paint a picture.
Near renaissance
I am seduced
“I want to die” (I say in my head)

It slinks away
Relief
I can breathe
I wish this still only happened in my sleep...
Flynn Sep 2020
How many chances will I give you
Perpetual motion. I take you back
again

You profess to change
Relief! Though a temporary shift
again

Breaking news!
I've taken you back. Beguiled
again

How stupid can I be
Like Newton's cradle, predictably broken
again

Repetitive maladaptation
Fictional diagnosis come non-fiction
again

How many chances will I give you
before I choose myself
again.
History always repeats itself.
Anyone else brutally anchored by love, loyalty and emotions into toxic situations?
Flynn Sep 2020
I stop to breathe
and I see beneath
Down to the right
barely in sight

paddling by
my side
canal-side
Ducklings!

That was all it took
My world, un-shook
At least for today
I know I'll be ok.
What are some of the things that unexpectedly bring you out of a panic attack?
Flynn Sep 2020
Time to move on.
Yes, but what to?
I had searched and found my home in you.

What do I do?
Where do i start?
Where does it lead, but away from my heart.

Up in the air
chasing my emotions
Will I ever give up on these ridiculous notions

Of making it work
You've closed the door
what the **** am I supposed to do anymore?!!!
Flynn Sep 2020
There is no better teacher than pain.
No better coach than sorrow.
As long as you make it through
'til tomorrow.
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