It's taking everything I’ve ever had, not to crawl into the crevice between your arm and hip. I want seep inside of you and live with you, like the parasite I am.
I’ve bribed to God to make you love me, And bargained away my future sins.
I want to forget the golden retriever You took on walks longer than our love-making, And the way your body writhed beneath my touch Like a body bracing for a car-crash, And how with every kiss I could feel your rigor mortis set in.
I want to read you poems about Kurt Cobain, While we do ******* at midnight in Golden Gate Park. And watch you have a visceral reaction To the memories Of the times you tasted someone else’s skin.
Instead I’ll dye my hair black, Cancel all my credit cards, And run away to Chicago to Cheapen myself and reek of Popov In a dive bar next to the railroad, That no one’s heard of so you can tell strangers in the subway and at the New Year’s party, (at which you’ll meet your wife) how much I’ve always meant to you and how You will always wonder what happened to me (Even though you won't.)