I am the patron saint of lost eyelashes
of foggy cloudless minds
and faded neon piping

of the Ocean's Retreat
of blown out birthday candles
when the wish-maker
never intended.

I am the patron saint of loose boards
creaking and rattling
skeletons
mere shadows of
past grandeur

and the wind quickens
and the light magnifies
and sensation multiplies

but the numbness maintains its steady and resolute path onwards
into the dark coils of the future.

I'm a rocker who likes country
But lately what I find
is that whatever I am hearing
turns to foggy mountain breakdown
in my mind

I listen to Nirvana
And I love to hear it fuzz
But right now Dave Grohl's music
has got foggy mountain breakdown
kind of buzz

Someone saved my life tonight
Elton, don't you know
That right now when I hear it
it's got a foggy mountain breakdown
old banjo

Rock and Roll forever
That's always been my line
But now it doesn't matter
there's a foggy mountain breakdown
it sure don't sound like Motown
there's a foggy mountain breakdown
in my mind

The solo road takes hold. I don't know where it goes, but where it goes I go.
A midnight’s drive under a sky full of clouds, blocking the moonlight.
Only the glimpse of a shimmering star guides my way, but to what I do not know.
A night of indifference, just going where this winding road takes me, but
I can barely see that shining star through clouds of hesitation.
The road is a one lane highway to a destination unknown
the fog is so dense it is like a layer of blankets used to hide the fears of a child in the dark.
At this point I wonder if it can hide my fears as well.
Do I even want to hide from these fears at all or should I stand up to the inevitable?
My engine’s sputtering, stalling, my car’s running out of gas and I feel like I just might crash.
I put my foot to the gas and hope that I wont fly through the glass and end up with my car smashed, because this car is my only way off this **** road in the first place.
I see no headlights coming my way even though I pray that one day I will see a light at the end of this godforsaken road but the day isn't today.
Some days I pray that I will lay on the road face down
with a trail of my essence turning the road red with release
but other days I carry on like it was my job to mindlessly keep both of my hands on the steering wheel and hope that at the end of this road, there’s an exit sign,
and that all I need’s a little more time.
Because night after night, my hands grip the wheel so hard my knuckles turn white as the fog that clouds my vision day after day.
My sighs echo down this ever growing street, every twist and turn feels like another reason
to unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door because
I’m going 85 in a 50 and I can’t even see my own headlights on the road
my vision is blurred and my mind is as foggy as the road I drive on.
Every now and again I wonder what the point is
I can barely remember the day I started driving, it was so long ago
and I pray for the day when I can wash this fog away in rain,
that I’ll find an exit and take it.

I'm not sure.
I'm unclear.
But I can tell you what I feel.
I feel a passionate cloud stuck in in my chest.
So vague, so foggy, the mist.
Constantly I breathe more in,
as it suffocates me.
Though I know something clear is being built.
Something I fear is being built.
And when I breathe it out.
I will be sure.

What beauty shines in dappled light,
In misty morning air?
What beauty's cloaked in foggy mist,
Waiting to be shone?
The light it changes endlessly,
No view is ever twice,
Sun and rain and mist and fog,
The ever changing light.
The hills they roll in endless clefts,
Valleys and ridges roll,
Endless land that ever goes,
From dawn way out to dusk.
A home it is this peaceful place,
If only for a time,
The comfort of the love here found,
That makes a house a home.
Horses graze to their delight,
The moisture fine with them.
The rabbits hope, the birds all sing,
The magpie glides around.
Few have seen the morning light,
Out shining through the mist,
Few there are that know delight,
Of ranch's peacefulness.
Here I sit in morning light,
The peace it fills my soul.
Refreshing rain and my delight,
Out here far from home.
What beauty shines in dappled light,
In misty morning air?
What beauty's cloaked in foggy mist,
Waiting to be shone?
The light it changes endlessly,
No view is ever twice,
Sun and rain and mist and fog,
The ever changing light.

~Dappled Light by Bethany Davis, June 7, 2014