Closed computer.
Lying girl.
Sick girl.
Tired girl.
Puke, tears, and blood.
Creepy colour pallet.
The colours dance over the floor and walls.
Crying is quieted by the loud students.
Blood is cleaned with water.
Puke is going up and down, never choosing a path.
Forks, trays, and knives in her hair.
Her friends don't notice.
She's not sleeping.
And never has been.
She's not breathing.
Oxygen escaping fast.
In and out.
In and out
In and out.
She's gone.

It's kind of sad when you have friends who you say are your family,
and say your family is not.

It's depressing when your family does not accept you as a member,
and you never thought of yourself as one.

It's a little unsettling when you can picture your future being beautiful and bright, without seeing them ever again.

I'm in a constant world of self hatred and disgust

Worries, worries, cramming up my head.
I wish I could just take a break.

But of course it's not easy,
Since everything has been really ******.

Maybe I should just bottle, bottle them in, instead.
Sigh.

My pain irks me,
Sends me flying into my bed.
Under the cover of darkness.

As I cry myself awake,
Unable to sleep.
I ask myself..
Why?

Why am I such a ***** up?
Why do I make mistakes,
Knowing my parents will be angry?

My tears intensify,
My claws take my skin,
Leaving ****** marks...

I scream in my head,
Rocking to the beat of my music,
That sings in my ear bud.

Evanescence,
Rascal Flatts.
Plumb.
Crossfade.

I cannot find peace..
All I feel is that pain.
That has ****** me over for,
Five years.

I'm only a teenager,
I only can take so much.
Until Its over.

I've already tried once...
What makes you think I'll try again?

Dad,
What makes you so ******?
Taking it out on me,
Because I don't listen?

Why can't you and my step mom,
Just realize..
That I'm only Seventeen..

And so it says,
My title will always stay.
Lone wolf forever..

I cant be perfect,
It's just not my style.

My life is so different,
I cry even harder.

Mistakes,
Promises broken.
Two faced liars..

God,
Why aren't you here?
I need you..
And I need you now..

As my pain intensifies,
All I see is the cascading shadows.
Watching my every move...

My music doesn't help anymore..