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Elliott May 2017
Eye's all around. Watching me.
I feel them. I can't see them.
I know they're here. I wait.

People all around. Judging me.
I see them. I don't know them.
I'm scared of them. I wait.

Hand's on my back. Ready.
I feel them pushing me. Pressing on me.
They can't wait. I'm scared.

Oxygen stopping. Suffocating me.
I feel it. The anxiety.
It won't go away. I wait.

Voice's all around. Talking to me.
I hear them. I listen to them.
I don't respond. I wait.

Tears trail. My voice trails.
I lay back. Listening.
I'm still. I'm gone.
Elliott Sep 2015
It's just not normal is it?
The thoughts you have?

You want to be just like them.
But the thoughts keep coming.

Can It be a reality?
Can it be true?

No. It can't.
And you can't make it.

Science just isn't there.
You're not smart enough.
And you don't have enough money.

Research is hard.
Paying attention isn't your strong suit.

It's only fictional.
Elliott Apr 2015
She starts gathering up her things.
She's getting ready for her trip.

No one aware.
No one who cares.

Her pillow is harder,
Her pill bottles full,
Her bag is waiting,

And now she's ready to leave.

Not yet.
Not ready.
Not alone.

Fighting with herself, or rather her friends.
The one's who are her voice.
THE voice's.

Trying to plan on still.
For they have yet to begin getting ready.

Not smart.
Not scared.
Not brave.

They've made up their minds.
They've packed their bag's.
They're ready to go.

Her knife, her friends, her sanity.
Is ready.
Elliott Feb 2015
I'm not okay.
My heart feels like bursting,
My eyes feel like an ocean.
She's not okay.
Her ears are now a drum,
Her nose is a busted vein.
He's not okay.
His arm is a chopping board,
His leg's are empty.
It's not okay.
They are in pain,
They are in need.
We are not okay.
Elliott Jan 2015
My life is different now.
Like it's a game that's been updated.
And I am the main character.
And I'm always low on stamina and health.
Countless restarts, as though I've messed up the level.
But time still goes on and the level changes.
The game is a mess  with the only mission to beat being depression.
The NPC's  are all non talk-able pixels.
There are random jump scares and flashes of horror and gore.
Hard problems and puzzles to beat, with out the right answer.
No matter how many times I hit save, my progress is still missing.
My story line is incomplete.
No explanation or the controls.
No main objective, rather than surviving.
There are no cheat codes or a guide to help me.
It's hopeless.
There is no quitting.
There is title screen or pausing.
There is no end.
Elliott Nov 2014
Closed computer.
Lying girl.
Sick girl.
Tired girl.
Puke, tears, and blood.
Creepy colour pallet.
The colours dance over the floor and walls.
Crying is quieted by the loud students.
Blood is cleaned with water.
Puke is going up and down, never choosing a path.
Forks, trays, and knives in her hair.
Her friends don't notice.
She's not sleeping.
And never has been.
She's not breathing.
Oxygen escaping fast.
In and out.
In and out
In and out.
She's gone.
Lunch was a *****. Gross. Don't go to school sick okay? My friends literally thought I was sleeping. Wow.
Elliott Oct 2014
I learned today to ask for help, when I'm in pain.
You learned this too.
So, then why when I asked you for help you didn't notice the tears falling from my eyes?
The blood running from my arms?
Am I that invisible, or can you just not tell?
Please help me.
I...I need help really bad...
I'm balling.
My eyes are red and burning.
My arm is sore and red. Stained.
My hear feels like it's being smashed.
I can't even look at you.
Please help me.
It hurts so much.
Not being able to tell anyone.
Why can't you see?!
Help! Help! Help...'s over....
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