I struggle to convey the pulsing fear
that this life of mine may end
before I get the chance to flee to my destiny

My lips are worn out
from the unspoken words

My eyes dully ache
from the unshed tears

My heart burns for
its desire to be loved

My wrist bleeds,
it longs to heal

My leg shakes,
it wants flee

My soul weeps,
so I set it free

Under weight of obligation
Around me
Closing in
Can't breathe the intimacy rising
With the moon pressing light on my skin

Wrapping in pretend happiness
Giving the slightest glimmer of hope
Tell me you'll never give up on me
Stars are afraid you won't

You cannot comprehend the fact
Heart is no longer yours
Wriggled loose from your grasp
Spiteful shouts and banging doors

I withstand worsening suffocation
To bury negative thoughts deep
Seems like in darkness they flourish
Finally out of my mouth they seep

I am sure you'll hate me forever
No more reasons growing to pretend
You would just listen to my words
Realize this is the end

I guess I'll have to be firm
Tired of feeling hopelessly down
Why can't you accept the inevitable?
Can't you see we are unsound?

Beams shaking from resentment
Falling down with a crash
Collapsing emotions loud and shuddering
Love's rafters blown across ground like ash

I am still here picking through the ruins
Obligated to give it my all
Mistakes are what caused us to break
Responsible for letting you fall

It is as if I signed a pledge or oath
Caught in a paperless contract
"I love you" my verbal signature
Written on your heart in black

Again and again try for you
Looking back seems like a waste
Forever a cycle of inadequacy
Repeating mirrored expressions of blatant distaste

The feelings flee further the more we fail
With each missed chance to succeed
I am too messed up to help anyone else
I'll never be all you ever need

I saw another world,
one that no one else could see
one where stories are true,
and where I would sometimes flee

but you must be careful,
and once in a while
look up,
else you'll end up like me,
-
I think I’ve lived in a dream so long,
I don’t know how to wake up.